Wednesday, January 11, 2012

EEEEWWW

Happy Hump Day! It's been awhile since I've bestowed some Shameless on you...

Usually I'm all for creepy crawlers and any other type of insect or arachnid. If I find a spider in my house the general rule is I leave it alone unless a) it's in my bedroom (last summer I had 5 bites that were raised, warm to the touch and red. You could see them through a pair of dress pants.) or b) it's chunky. I like snakes and bugs and if it's not bothering me, it's free to visit.


The only thing I've ever killed by necessity was the cicada that somehow found it's way into my house. I didn't want to kill him. Really. It was more the fact that those large wings create a very loud buzzing when it's flying around my living room. I being the brave soul that I am immediately cowered under my computer desk while yelling at my cats to declare war on it. Needless to say I had to pep talk myself to crawl out from under the desk and do the dirty work.  

The one insect that truly leaves me acting "girly" in a way I'd normally avoid? These fuckers. 

This is a house centipede a/k/a Scutigera coleoptrata
a/k/a AHHHHOMIGODEEEWWWKILLLIT!

These provide me with instantaneous shivers, that things-are-crawling-on-me feeling and a general squeamishness that won't rest until it's twitching and oozing in the garbage can. And because they reduce me to a shrieking a pile of girl, I greatly  prefer that someone else kill them. Of course one the four cats I own can't be bothered to lift a paw. And why should they? They're fed twice a day, given cat nip weekly, have a pile of toys throughout the house and generally are allowed to do whatever they please (when they're not sleeping). So killing a fast-moving, multi-legged bug that creeps me right-the-fuck out? They literally turn the other cheek. Fortunately boyfriend can now take care of such attackers.

Although it seems these awesome little asshats only like to make their presence known when no one (else) is around to kill them or they're out of reach. Yay for 9 foot ceilings?

2 comments :

  1. A cicada flew up my shirt as a child, and I'm forever scarred.

    I saw one of those things yesterday! I let the cat get him.

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  2. IT IS TOOOOOOOO EARLY FOR THIS AMOUNT OF GROSSNESS

    ReplyDelete