Friday, April 13, 2012

Life Blessings = Life Stress

On top of school/car/money stress I'll be an Aunt by the end of the month.

My sister's baby shower is this Sunday and I'm kind of freaking out. I've always said I was made to be an Aunt but I'm really not ready for this. Not yet.



Sure it will be exciting to buy cute clothes and play with her. She'll be 8 months by December so Christmas will be fun again (Welcome back Kotter, Santa!). And I get to be the cool Aunt that lives in the city and can take her to all the fun touristy things when she gets older. In short, I can spoil her rotten. I do look forward to that. And yet, I'm terrified for my sister. I mean, if you've noticed, human procreation freaks me out. Not the act of, that's fun, the whole welcome-to-the-world process.It makes mes SQUEEE and not in a good way. But for her, I'm even more freaked out. She's 16. I was thinking yesterday, she has way more courage than I do. Sometimes I think of being "with child" and it makes me want to cry with fear. I can't imagine how she feels.

My mom is being amazing. I know she's devastated and this is obviously not the path she'd have chosen but she's also not being one of those asshole parents that kicks their kid out. As much as they don't want a baby in the house, my mom, in good conscience can do nothing but help my sister. When my mom was 22 she had me. And her mother did everything possible to help her. She can't not do the same. And that brings us back to this weekend. The shower.

When my mom first mentioned the idea of having a shower I said that this isn't something you normally throw a shower for. She agreed but mentioned that my sister was going to need a lot of things and she wouldn't be able to get it all. This I understood. So she's throwing a shower. It's basically going to be my moms friends and coworkers, myself and my cousin from PA. As much as I've been anticipating going, I'm also dreading it. I don't want to see her preggo. My sister just started wearing size 1 jeans 2 years ago - she's that slim. She's going to look like someone sewed a beach ball beneath her skin and truthfully, I don't think I can handle seeing that. I hope she's wearing a baggy sweatshirt. I know it seems horrible and like I'm overreacting but what can I say? Pr_gn_ncy (care to buy a vowel?) makes me uncomfortable.

I'll let you know if I survive the weekend...





7 comments :

  1. Wow - that *is* a huge challenge for everyone involved - but your mom is awesome for helping her instead of kicking her out. Hope you make it through the shower ok.... I'm sure that little baby will make it all worth it!

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  2. Ugh, I'm sorry! That is just a sucky situation all around. Hopefully it will go better than you think

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  3.  Maybe I'm old (old) fashioned, but the sight of pregnant women freaks me out too...I feel you on the whole grossed out by it thing, so hardcore.  I hope it's not as bad as you think.

    Sounds like a rough situation, but years down the road everyone is going to be so grateful for the presence of this child in their lives.  Someday you'll look at your memories with her and think you couldn't imagine your life without your niece, nor your mom without her granddaughter, or your sister, without her daughter.  (you hinted that it's a girl-baby-person?)

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  4. I get your "ewww" feeling about the procreation thing. I had the same issue until I was pregnant myself. And then it only mildly subsided, I was still uncomfortable with the process even living it. 
    I'm glad that you and your mom and being as supportive as you are. I'm sure that your sister is not comfortable with the situation as a whole but your unconditional love and support of her and her baby will help her see this as just another part of life, instead of a huge bad thing. And really, that can only help the baby as she grows and learns how to feel about herself and the role and value she has in your family. 
    Just keep on loving her, whatever that looks like. The rest will fall into place. 

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  5. I'm sure you'll survive the weekend just fine. I'm glad your mums being cool about it as well. If I had a daughter who got pregnant at 16, well she'd learn why I got a shotgun the day she was conceived. But no, I would be supportive. 

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  6. Oh. God.
    I'm 100% with you on the "pregnancy makes me uncomfortable" stance.  I think it's awesome that people can create life and all, but I'd sort of like to pretend that I don't have the parts that are capable of such things, and instead, from a very far distance, offer a slow clap to the people wishing to take part in the placenta-ridden shitshow.

    ... Having said that, being a cool aunt is a fucking HONOUR and that's going to be SO much fun. 

    I recommend playing the 'poopy diaper' shower game. Google that shit. Yummmmy.

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  7. I constantly have nightmares where I find out I'm pregnant. Reoccurring nightmares about being with child. That's crazy, isn't it? Being pregnant is one person's best dream and another person's worst nightmare.

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