I'm at a loss for words. It's been over a week and I still don't think I've fully accepted that you're gone. It's been a living nightmare and I wish that there was some way for you to tell us that it's ok. That you're ok. If this had happened because of a car accident, I'd be just as upset but I could rationalize and accept it. But that's not what happened. You were taken. And for that I will always be angry.
And then I came home when Mom called me with this tragic news. I'll never forget it. I came as soon as I could. I took on the rock role. Not that I wouldn't anyway, but I had to. I couldn't let Mom and Dad make those decisions. I had to protect them. To be strong for everyone. Parents aren't supposed to be predeceased by their children. It's not the way it's supposed to happen. It was easier for me to step up and do everything, not only to shield them, but to stay busy to keep myself from shutting down.
Yesterday was hard, today feels barely easier. I feel lost. I miss you, so very much. You'll never be forgotten. I refuse to let that happen.