Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Like if...

Last week The Zuck posted a status saying that Facebook had over 1 billion active users.

1 billion? The U.S. population (as of 8/14/12) is only 314,159,265 (That's Pi times 100 million for all you number lovers). The world population is estimated at 7 billion, some million-thousand-hundred people. And yet only 1 billion people are on Facebook. I did the math, which is just ridiculous, and it comes out that 1.43% of the population uses Facebook. Not even 2%? By all means Zuck, brag away.

I'm part of the 1.43%. I'm active. I browse through my feed, if a status or a photo someone posted catches my eye I may "like" it. Most of the time I just scroll on through. But for the past month or two I've been noticing an increase of "Like if..." posts/photos on Facebook.

Let's just cut to the chase right now - THIS SHIT PISSES ME OFF! Which means it's time for an open letter...

Dear Facebook Users:

I am so tired of seeing your "Like if you love Jesus, keep scrolling if you're ashamed to admit it"; "Like if you love your mom"; "Like if you wish cancer didn't exist" posts. Really people? This is what you do all day? For the love of God, just STOP IT already!   

I don't know one person who is actually glad that cancer exists. It's a horrible disease and we should all be hopeful that someday a cure is found or healthier treatments (chemo and radiation are killers too) are discovered. Whether I love Jesus or not is: a) no concern of yours, and b) not going to be determined by whether I "like" a status or not. And unless you're mom is a raging bitch and you truly don't like her, then I'm pretty sure everyone loves their mom.

Perhaps I'm wrong. I'll admit it has happened before. You all could be in on to some miraculous form of healing power. First it was the Power of Prayer. Now we have the Power of Like.

People of Facebook, I'm begging you. Stop with these posts. Not only does it annoy everyone else, but it makes you look like an asshole. 


Me...waiting for my dislike button


  1. I was marginally impressed actually that a billion people have Facebook accounts. Then I remembered people with multiple accounts. When you see how many unique people there are on there, and then take away the people who aren't active, I imagine the number is a lot smaller. Take Blogging, I have 300+ followers, but only around 10 people who actually comment. I don't delude myself into thinking that 300 people read what I write. That would be silly. Not quite as silly as "like if" posts, but still silly. I've scrolled straight past those things, even if it is something I do like, such as my mother. Facebook doesn't really need to know I like my mum. I wouldn't be surprised if The Zuck was behind them, and he was keeping track of how many people on Facebook love their mothers.

  2. OMG!!!! I see exactly where your going with this! I hate those things soooooo much. I think I may have "liked" some-things but it's ridiculous. I feel like everyone has taken Facebook and ruined it. Just like they did with Myspace. I miss the old days of Facebook, but this is what it has come to. My posts are pretty far and in between. Do you ever get a random comment where some says something mean...but it's not that mean...but it still irritates you? And you want to delete them, but it's your best friend's husband? Yea....I could go on a rant for hours...but I won't ;)


  3. Wait. If one billion people are on facebook and there are 7 billion people in the world, doesn't that mean that 14% (1/7) are on facebook? But I'm sure lots of them are spammers. And I totally agree about the chain-mail posts. Yuck.


    I do, however, enjoy kittens dressed like hobos. So maybe that was a bad example.

  5. I know. I just can't take it. Chain letters are not for me. But make sure you forward this post to 5 friends before 3pm or be without the Muppets forever!