November 15, 2013

Life Lately

I showed up today full of intentions to give you a birthday wish list. The thing is, I just don't want to. Everything I want is practical. Clothes, shoes, furniture... not exactly exciting blog reading. Instead your getting a synopsis of life lately.

In a nutshell, I was planning to finish school in December, 2014. In my prep for next semester I noticed a class I was planning to take wasn't being offered in the evening. Since it's a core requirement, and a prereq to a class I would have taken next fall, everything is now pushed back. I'm now looking at May 2015 unless this class is offered in the evening during summer. I'm not holding my breath. I just want to quit school forever. No, I'm not actually going to do this. I just want to graduate. Is that so much to ask for?

In other news, K and I went to Sears a few weeks ago and opened a Sears card. This girl is the proud owner of four new tires. It's sad when this is exciting. All good must be balanced otherwise we'd all be shitting rainbows. Apparently I celebrated too hard because now I need to replace a ball joint. Goodbye Christmas savings, hello poorhouse. Sears wanted $200+ but I called STS and they can do it for around $160. I'll take it.

I've been being more active thanks to Setarra. Right now, I'm hating every minute of it. I'm not in the zone and it's hard and frustrating and it sucks. Healthy food is more expensive than junk food and I'm always hungry. But you know what? I'm going to keep at it.

I can't believe we're exactly halfway through November. Don't believe it? 30-15 = 15 days left in the month. It's crazy. Black Friday will be here any minute and I'm not the least bit ready. That reminds me. The fact that Black Friday has taken over Thursday just infuriates me. Another post, another day.

And that's all I've got for you today. If you made it to here, congrats, and thanks. Life is manhandling me right now but I've got a week long vacation coming up and I plan to be as lazy as possible. Kidding Setarra!

Enjoy the weekend. Do something fun!

October 14, 2013

And Then We Played 20 Questions

Today I'm feeling.... lazy. Ok, not really, but I saw these "This or That" prompts from Erin a few weeks ago and saved them for a rainy lazy day. I thought they were pretty good so today you're getting my responses.

Vacationing in Florida or vacationing in NYC: Seeing as how I've never been to Florida.... Bienvenidos a Miami!

iPhone or Droid: I used to to be Team iphone. And then like a bad ex, I moved on.

NSYNC or Backstreet Boys: Can I say neither? God, I hate boy bands.

Being forced to delete Facebook or being forced to delete Twitter: I want to say Facebook since I purposely spend so little time on it as is, but I have a lot of family on there. So... Facebook.

Fireball or Miller Lite: I'm copying Erin on this one, "Miller Lite because I'm the biggest baby about taking shots." I love shots, especially tequila ones. But when people want to take all different kinds in less than 2 hours. I turn into a soggy cookie.

Full House or Family Matters: Damn. I grew up watching both of these. I'm convinced that either would be the wrong answer.

Dumbledore or Gandalf: Dumbledore. Always. I enjoyed the ring trilogy but c'mon.

Dying Easter eggs or Carving pumpkins: Carving pumpkins. First you take out all the seeds, then you soak and bake them while you carve. Win-win.

NFL or NCAAF: NFL baby. Did you not see my confessions last week?

A hangover forever or sobriety forever: I'm going with the hangover. Mine are a "feed me a burger and no one gets hurt" kind of thing. I can live with that.

January or July: July. It's got the 3 S's - Sun, sand and saltwater.

Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus: I despised Hannah Montana. And Miley, maybe she should just go back to Hannah.

Shark Week or Fashion Week: Without fail, Shark Week.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Saved by the Bell: There is no winner here. Cookies for everyone!
Britney or Christina: Christina. The girl has a powerhouse voice.

Burrito or Burrito Bowl: Burrito. Go big or go home. Preferably with the burrito.

Reading blogs on your phone or reading blogs on your computer: On el laptop. That much reading on the phone is annoying. But since I have a new screen, I might give it another go.
Angelina or Jennifer: Angelina. She's just got that bad-ass Barbie thing about her.
Doug Funny or The Rugrats: Hmm. I do love me some Porkchop. Yes. Doug all the way. I don't like babies.
An open mouth chewer or a heavy breather: Heavy breather. I can not stand open mouth chewers. Seriously, I go zero to raging in 0.05 seconds.

So there ya have it. Seriously, it's 20 questions. I counted.

October 10, 2013

Cop A Feel

Ladies, be honest. How often do you give yourself a grab?

I'm sure it's not nearly as often as you should. Today myself and many others are joining in Erin's annual Pinktober giveaway. You'll be entered to win a bunch of awesome prizes but MOST IMPORTANTLY we're spreading awareness and asking you all to give yourselves a feel!

Two Thirds Hazel
If you haven't seen the pink cleats scattering the football fields of every NFL game or the umpteen amount of pink ribbons floating around Facebook lately then you might not know that it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. But have no fear because Erin from Two Thirds Hazel got a whole bunch of bloggers together to bring you a giveaway just to make sure you remember.  The point of the giveaway is to raise awareness about this deadly disease as well as to raise money for breast cancer research in order to hopefully one day end it. And what better way to do that than to throw a whole bunch of PINK prizes your way to entice you to feel yourself up to check for lumps. That's right, feel yourself up by giving yourself a breast exam! Aka the only mandatory thing you'll need to do in order to enter for your chance to win. Win what you ask? Well let's take a little peek and see the prizes shall we.
1) A $300 gift card to Victoria's Secret PINK. Or just Victoria's Secret if you so choose. But either way you'll be getting TONS of new bras to carry those lovely lady lumps of yours around in. And with this much money you might even be able to snag some new panties and a bikini or two!

2) Over $100 worth of makeup and accessories. Snag yourself a lip duo from Sephora, a few blushes, nail polish, lip balms, a makeup bag, a watch, a scarf, a rose quartz and pearl bracelet, a pink pouf from Stella and Dot and more!
3) Over $100 worth of ad space. Get your pretty face on the sidebars of some awesome blogs in order to grow your own blog and gain more exposure.
4) $60 worth of Essie nail polish. You'll get five different pink polishes as well as base and top coats. Add in a pretty pink nail file and your digits will be thanking you for months to come.
5) A set of pink Vino2Go wine glass cups. Because what better way will there be to celebrate winning this giveaway than to sit down and pour yourself a glass (or two, or five) of wine.
6) A $25 design credit. After you're done shopping for new bras, painting your nails, applying makeup, throwing on new accessories and drinking wine, go update your blog with this awesome credit.

And now that you've met all of the amazingly generous ladies behind this giveaway, I think it's about time we got to entering it. So start stripping and begin feeling because the best method of prevention is early detection. If you've never given yourself an exam and need some guidance be sure to read the following information brought to you by the National Breast Cancer Foundation on the best ways to get the job done. If you already know how to get yourself to second base then carry on and head straight down to the Rafflecopter below to enter!
1) IN THE SHOWERUsing the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.
2) IN FRONT OF A MIRRORVisually inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour, any swelling, or dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Next, rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women's breasts do, so look for any dimpling, puckering, or changes, particularly on one side.

3) LYING DOWNWhen lying down, the breast tissue spreads out evenly along the chest wall. Place a pillow under your right shoulder and your right arm behind your head. Using your left hand, move the pads of your fingers around your right breast gently in small circular motions covering the entire breast area and armpit. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Since the primary purpose of this giveaway is to spread awareness, the only thing that's mandatory in order to enter is for you to give yourself the breast exam. The second option available for entry (although definitely not mandatory) is to donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation. This option will get you the most entries because you'll be given an extra entry per every dollar you donate. A $20 donation equals 20 extra entries. Make sense? Good. So get to entering and find some pink fluffy feelings in your heart to help out a great cause!

October 07, 2013

The Manual

In case you missed it last week, K was back on the blog talking about the things that annoy him most about me. It brought one thought to mind: I should come with a manual.

Shouldn't we all? I mean, yeah, getting to know how a person works, what they like and what sets them off is, umm, part of the "process", but wouldn't it be a tad bit easier if we all had a manual to give prospective significant others? I think so.

If I came with a manual, here are a few things you'd find in it.

One = Do not wake her up. She's like a hibernating bear when she sleeps. She does not want to be shaken stirred. If you do happen to wake her up, she'll most likely be cranky, sarcastic, and irrationally angry.

Two = Do not ask her to "relax" or "calm down". Just don't do it. These two phrases will immediately make her want to punch you in the face. On second thought, don't ever say this to any woman. The reaction will be the same.

Three = Do make her laugh daily. Even if she's angry, if someone can make her laugh she will automatically feel less stabby. You'll find it will help you through a lot of situations.

Four = Do feed her often. Preferably in the form of anything Chipotle or having to do with chips and salsa. Cupcakes will also do the trick. Honestly, she'll eat just about anything. If you keep her fed, you keep her happy. Cook for her. If you can't cook, learn. - I judge a man by the size of his sandwich.

Five = Have your own hobbies. This girl, she likes her space. You should have your own hobbies and do your own thing so that she can sit around in her sheep pajamas watching marathons of SYTTD and New Girl. She needs time to use face masks and dance like a crazy person to the Footloose soundtrack.

Six = Don't ask obvious questions. She'll immediately become annoyed and probably tease you for it. See also Chapter 4: Sarcasm, The Girl & You.

Pretty step-by-step if you ask me. I try to be as upfront as possible so they know what their getting into. K seems to be the only one with a somewhat working knowledge of how I work. Either that or he's a glutton for punishment. 

What would be in YOUR manual?

September 19, 2013

Take Back Teal

Today I'm hitting you with some knowledge. If you were around last year you may remember this post that I originally wrote for The Indie Chicks.

 I think it's incredibly read-worthy, especially about a topic that doesn't get much attention.

October is all about pink AND purple but there’s another month, and color, that is often overlooked.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month and teal is the color we wear to represent its awareness. 
Why ovarian cancer? Because it was an important cause to the daughter of a family member. Heather Weeks worked as an assistant to the CEO of the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund. In June 2008, at 23, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of colon cancer. Sadly, Heather lost her fight 5 months later.  She was only 24. As a cause Heather was passionate about we continue to push for awareness in her memory.
This is something that, like breast cancer and domestic violence, we need to be made aware of everyday, not just one month out of the year.
Did you know?
  • Ovarian Cancer is the leading cause of death from gynecological cancers in the United States and the fifth leading cause of cancer death among American Women.
  • Each year, approximately 20,000 American women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer and about 15,000 women die of the disease.
  • ALL women are at risk for ovarian cancer. However, a woman’s risk is highest during her 60s and increases with age through her late 70s.
  • Women who have had breast cancer have an increased risk of ovarian cancer.
  • Infertility, regardless of whether or not a woman uses fertility drugs, also increases the risk of ovarian cancer.
  • The use of oral contraceptives can reduce your risk. Women who use oral contraceptives for 5+ years have about a 50% lower risk than women who have never used oral contraceptives.
  • The symptoms of ovarian cancer are very vague; making it difficult to diagnose. Only 19% of ovarian cancers are caught before cancer has spread beyond the ovary to the pelvic region. When it is detected and treated early, the five-year survival rate is greater than 92%.

There are symptoms?

Yup! They may just seem like your typical womanly aches and pains but if these symptoms are persistent it’s possible that they could be red flags to something more serious. “The frequency and /or number of symptoms are a key factor in the diagnosis of ovarian cancer”. Unfortunately there are no screening tests to tell if a woman has ovarian cancer. Many women think that their Pap test is enough. WRONG! The Pap test ONLY screens for cervical cancer and does NOT test for ovarian cancer.
  • Bloating
  • Pelvic and abdominal pain
  • Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
  • Urinary symptoms (having to go NOW or often)
These 4 symptoms are more likely to occur persistently in women with ovarian cancer than those of the general population. Others, although not as useful in detection are:
  • Fatigue
  • Back pain
  • Menstrual irregularities
The OCNA (Ovarian Cancer National Alliance) has even developed a handy app to help you learn about the risks, signs and symptoms. You can even track symptoms over time that could indicate ovarian cancer. Get it HERE.

So what can you do to reduce your risk?

For starters, see your OB-GYN for regular (every 6 months) checkups. Secondly, spread the word. Because there is no screening test and symptoms can be misdiagnosed due to their subtitles, ovarian cancer often goes undetected until it’s too late. “Fewer than 20% of ovarian cancer patients are diagnosed early”. By offering support and promoting awareness, we, you, can help fight this disease.

Need to know more?

HERE you can learn more about your risk and symptoms.
If you have been diagnosed, go HERE to help with Understanding Ovarian Cancer.
You can find the FAQ list from the OCNA HERE.
**All statistical information was gathered via Hope For Heather and the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance**

September 18, 2013


It's the quiet moments like this when I realize I'm not okay.  I realize that the brave face I put on everyday is a mask. A mask designed to hide all of the flaws and pain that have taken place in my life.

For some reason this semester has me on edge. The why is what gets me. I have an entire year to go. This isn't crunch time. I know I'm almost done. Maybe, psychologically, it's the beginning of the end.

Maybe the commute is finally getting to me. 35-40 minutes into Port Authority. A 15 minute hurried walk to the office. Sitting for the nest 8 hours doing maybe an hour or two worth of work per day. To say I'm bored is the understatement of the century. I'm on the edge of "I hate my job" territory. Actually, that's a lie. I do hate my job. It's a waste of time and knowledge. I could be 10x more productive at home or going to classes during the day. And yet finding a new job is damn near impossible. I'm not eligible because I'm not done with school. It's a cyclical mess.

And then there's the 15 minute walk back to Port Authority to catch a bus that I hope doesn't get stuck in traffic, just so I can hop in my car, again hoping to avoid traffic, and rush off to school for the rest of the night. I feel like all I do is rush. I hurry to and fro with no time to actually stop and think about what I'm doing.

And maybe I do that on purpose. I know I thrive on being busy. Maybe I stay busy so that my mind doesn't have time to think, because when I do, it truly hurts.

I find that I truly hate being away from my niece. I am missing the day to day smiles, giggles and steps she is taking. And yet, I can't help but feel stuck here. If only for another year. My life changed so much the day she was born and the day I lost my sister.

I find that I miss my sister more and more every day. I want to text her. I want her to see how her daughter is growing and learning. I want her to hear her laugh and see her smile. And I know that it will never happen. She will never see those things and I will never see her again. And every day my heart breaks a little more.

It breaks for my sister. It breaks for my niece. And it breaks for me. For the moments I can never have. That moments I can't share with her. It's all a what if. Millions of questions never to be answered. And the thing is, it's an inconsolable hurt.

September 06, 2013

730 Days

730 days.
104 weeks.
24 months.

Two years ago today I created this space.

First, I can't even begin to express how thankful I am to all of you. I also can't believe I've been showing up to this space for 2 whole years. Happies and crappies. Good posts and fluff.

I'd love to do a recap of my fave posts, but really, I've enjoyed so many I just can't narrow it down.

Ok, maybe I found some favorites. 

The point is, without all of you reading, commenting and coming back for more I'd be over here typing away to myself. And although that would be okay, I love having all of you to interact with, so THANK YOU. Thank you for every single comment, reply, tweet, IG like, FB like, all of it. You're all good eggs. Cupcakes for errrybody! 

August 26, 2013

That Time I Channeled Barney

It's Monday. We're all miserable because it's Monday so let's all just have a good laugh.

Fashion is something that is always changing, and yet, it's cyclical. Hello bell-bottoms and flare jeans. Hey there ponchos and paisley print! What up chunky heeled shoes and neon clothing?! The point is, trends come and go... and then come around again.

Sometimes we try things and it's an epic fail. Take for instance this dress.

What in all the hell.

In my defense, {do I even get one?} I didn't pick this out. It was the senior prom of my then boyfriend and he wanted me to wear this. I'm cringing just typing this.

There's just so much wrong with the picture I'm not sure where to even start.

1) The length. It's just horrible. It hits me at such an awkward spot.

2) The neckline. It's like a v-neck off the shoulder nightmare. I want to pull it up onto my shoulders... and over my face.

3) My hair. I don't even know. My mom tried. We should have just put the damn thing in a ponytail and called it a day night.

4) Those shoes scream, I'm over 55 and headed to church! No offense to my church going readers. My point is, they're just so damn conservative and low. So very low. Thank God my taste in heels, and their height, grew.

5) Lace sleeves and those shoulder wrap/drape things. Really? I don't even need to elaborate on this.

6) You may not be able to see them but my nails? Lavender colored acrylic nails. Why mom? Why did you let me do that??

If I ever had one of those "awkward periods" while growing up, this is most certainly it. And now I need to go burn this photo.

Let's hear it - what's the worst outfit you've ever worn?

August 09, 2013

There Ain't Nothin' Fantasy About Football

Well hey there 2nd weekend of August! How yoooouu doin'?

I have been chomping at the pigskin to talk about this! 

Simply "linkup" with the blogger's league you want to play in! That easy!
 BUT REMEMBER: Only 10 people per league!! So signup FAST for the league you want!

If the blogger's league requires payment, that money will be due via Paypal 3 days prior to the league's draft. Don't hesitate to ask any questions by leaving a comment! 
League Name: Cleats and Cleavage
Cost to Join? Nope!
Winner's Prize: A blog post featuring the the winner and bragging rights
Dirty League? Of course
Draft Date: Sept. 2, 2013 7pm CST
Why should you choose my league? Real football fans ONLY! If you're looking for fun, football, and maybe a little smack talk, then look no further! This will be a fun-loving league full of big-time fans of football, but a little trash talk never hurt anybody. ;)

Michael // Crazy Tragic Almost Magic

League Name: Victorious Secret
Buy in: $10
   1st place - $75
   2nd place - $15
   3rd place - $10
You’re probably wondering why you should join Victorious Secret instead of the other 3 leagues, right? Well, I’ll have you know I’ve been around the commissioner block, so I know what I’m doing. I want to see the smack talk, dirty team names and boasting when your team wins for the week. Nothing is off limits. Get crazy, get signed up and let’s play some “fooseball”!

Karoline // Karoline with a K
About the league: I'm a sportswriter, so I'm looking to have people who really enjoy sports to join my league. Huge bonus if you want to name your team something dirty or funny (I'm still working on my name…). Smack talk is also absolutely encouraged in the message boards! ALSO I don't normally do Saturday posts, so every week on Saturday I am going to be doing a feature spot about the league. For week 1, I will do a writeup about the league and it's members and for weeks 2-13 I will invite each member to guest post about their team and their thoughts on and experience with the league so far (AKA free publicity for you and your blog!)
League type: no entry fee, but there will be prizes in the form of ad space for the top three finishers!
Rules: My only rule is that people set their lineups! It's my biggest pet peeve when team owners don't check their lineups and leave injured/inactive/bye-week players on their team any given Sunday!!

Nadine // Back East Blonde
League Name: Does this league make my butt look big?
Cost of Joining League: fo free
Winner receives: Lots of good ju-ju and a free medium ad space on Back East Blonde (and maybe the other team members blogs, if they want to pony up)
League description: For years I've sat on the sidelines, admiring my man friend's fantasy football team and occasionally being his Jenny behind the scenes (if you didn't get that League reference, reevaluate your life). But alas, the time has come for me to step out of his fantasy football shadow. I've got FOMO like a MOFO and if you do to, this league is for you. League members are strongly encouraged to draft players based on the following criteria: talent, looks, and warm fuzzies. Expect Tom Brady to go in the first round (duh...pause while I drool), Arian Foster to get lots of awwws (did you know he went vegan? precious), and Michael Vick will not be available to be drafted. Because if there's one thing bloggers love, it's puppies. Silly smack talk is always encouraged and wildly inappropriate team names are a must. Now let's have some fun, shall we?

Team Name: When in Romo, Do As the Bloggers Do
Cost of Joining League: 20 hard earned dollars
Winner Receives: $180, 2nd place gets their money back.
Draft Date: Aug 25 4pm CST
About the League: This ain't your grandmother's league. But only because mine is actually already signed up to play in my mom's league. That wasn't a joke. Rules are there are no rules. I don't give a flip if you ever update your roster, talk smack or are even available for the live draft. In fact, better just give me your money now, save us all some time. I'm just looking around to see who is going to finish second. Get your popcorn ready, cause I'm gonna put on a show.

I know. It's just too cool for school. 
 Get yourself linked up and get ready to play! 

August 07, 2013

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Back in the 5th grade I was awesome. At least that's the way I saw things.

I was grown up now. I mean c'mon, I was in the fifth grade. We ruled the school. No more kid things for me! These thoughts directly applied to school pictures. I had to look more like the adult 5th grader I knew I was rather than the childish 4th grader I was last year. Crayons were a thing of the past. I had moved on to mature things like colored pencils. Although I may or may not have returned to my room to retrieve the collector's edition tin of crayons I accidentally left over the summer.

Anywho... what was I saying? Oh yes. School pictures were coming up and I needed to look grown. Earlier that year I wore an awesome cornflower blue silk dress with pearl buttons to church for Easter. I absolutely loved it. It was the dressiest thing I owned. Perfect for school pictures! The only thing left to do was to figure out my hair. My childhood hair was a crazy thing.
Remember these? Don't act like you don't.

I was so awesome that I had a collection of these in my hair. While most of you wore one or two if you were rocking pigtails, I usually had about 6 or 7 taming my crazy curls.

With my new 5th grade stardom, these ponytail holders would be unacceptable for the school picture. I mean, this was the yearbook photo after all. The one everyone would see. The one memorialized for all time. In hindsight, this was the least of my worries.

On top of the hair concerns I realized that my eyebrows were a little... full. Continuing with my new adult status, these needed to be tamed. So of course I took matters, and a Bic razor, into my own hands. Bad idea Michael. Bad, bad idea.

Behold, the glorious grown up 4th grade photo. Forever memorializing my ridiculousness.

Should we even discus this? Seriously. What the eff was I thinking?! 

I'm missing half an eyebrow.


If I remember correctly we tried to pencil it in with eyeliner or something but it just didn't work out too well. Pencils are good for filling in brows, not creating them. The best part is, I still get teased by my family about this every now and then.

Moral of the story?

Hang on to childhood, and hair, for as long as possible because shaving your eyebrows is never a good idea.

July 18, 2013

That Date From Hell

Well hello there! Remember me? I'm that girl who usually posts on schedule but it seems having a stomach bug throws you off a bit. The past 2 days have consisted of me rekindling my love affair with the couch an sleep. And it's been a glorious reunion.
Since today is typicaly a non-post day, there's only one thing to make me post: a fun link-up.

 I'm linking up with Erin for her dating link-up. How do we go through life without laughing at disastrous dating stories? We don't! So it's time to share 'em!

 I went out with this complete meat head once that I met on POF. That's Plenty of Fish for those of you who haven't ventured into that creepy dating pond. If you haven't, just don't. There are no life guards on duty and you'll be swimming at your own risk.

In admitting my one shallow quality, he had great arms. I know, it's sad but when we get asked out, sometimes we just say yes. He suggested going to the movies and I said it was fine Why self? Why did you agree to this? You hate movie dates. (Red flag #1. Movies are a TERRIBLE idea for a date, unless there's something established.)

First off, all I know about this dude is his name, occupation and what kind of car he has. Quality information, I know.  So we're sitting in the theater and watching the movie and he decides he wants to get cute holding my hand and squeezing my knee. (Umm, don't touch me) I can't even tell you what movie we saw because I was mentally recapping what a shitty time I was having so that I could immediately tell one of two best friends. I'm one of those peple that puts their feet on the seat in front of me, but am mindful if others are seatedin front. This guy apparently also sits that way. The only difference is that his feet were on the seat IN FRONT OF ME. Riddle me that one.

At one point in the movie a joke was made. I laughed, the rest of the theater laughed. He whispers to me, "why was that funny?" WHAT?! I'm sorry but if you can't understand punny humor, you just need to leave. Now.

I suffered through the rest of the movie and it came time to leave. Given the disaster that took place for an hour and a half getting drinks afterwards was the farthest thing from my mind. At least with him. The best part was when we were leaving the mall and he says he'll walk me to my truck... and then I can drive him to his car. Seriously. I think my brain exploded with that. I was absolutely dumbfounded. In hind sight I would have laughed in his face, got in my truck and drove off. But since I seem to be a little slow when my brain has just exploded, I allowed him to get in and proceeded to drive him the 50 feet to his car. And then he tries to kiss me?! I wanted to push him out right then and there.

As I drove away talking to myself like a crazy person I immediately sent a message to my MBFF saying he needed to meet me at our bar stat. Two weeks later, this creeper messaged my then-friend asking her to go out on a date.

This right here? Is why I stay single.

April 30, 2013

Who I Am

Last month I met a new blog friend and she wrote the most beautiful post I have read in a very long time. Seriously, if you haven't seen it I urge you to go read it and tell me you don't feel inspired in some way.

 I felt the need to try to identify who I am. Sure I'm a sister, daughter, girlfriend, student, etc. but who is this girl with the crazy, tragic and yet, almost magic life? Do I really know her?
I'd like to think I do.

Like Setarra mentioned, there comes a point in friendships when we all ask the question:
What was your first impression of me?

For me, the general consensus is bitch.
And you know what? I'm okay with that. I own it.
It doesn't mean that's who I am. Once people get to know me their opinion changes.
Others say I'm intimidating, hilarious, funny, or that they love my hair.

I think I'm too immature for my own good.
I would be perfectly happy to stay home and watch Disney movies ad Looney Tunes all day. Swinging at the park all day... living in Toys R Us... Why can't this be real life

I want to drop out of school... again.
But I won't. I've come too far and I'm too stubborn to do it a second time.
December 2014... I'm comin' for ya!

I think being a stripper is a much better idea
I see nothing wrong with it. Dancing + money = BALLIN'! Just keep business from pleasure and keep your nose clean.
I want to be single for the rest of my life
As much as I can be a people person, I think I'm equally a loner. I absolutely LOVE my me-time. But then I remember that some things are just better when shared with someone else.

I really am bitchy
There are some days I just can't deal with the lack of common sense that people have. These are days I should probably just stay home.

I want to skip work and enjoy whatever the day may bring
I don't know when it happened but I hate working. Although, if I won the lottery, I'd still work. There's a BIG difference between wanting to work and having to work.

I am grateful for something
I may not always say or show it but I am always grateful for what I have.

I wish it were summer and when it is, I wish time would just stop
I live for summer. I know a lot of us say this, but I really do. If the days are too cloudy or rainy for too long you'll see a drastic change in my moods.

I want to move
I get so restless. I always want to be on the go. Maybe it's my Sagg nature but I get bored in one spot.

I am afraid of failure
Just like everyone else I'm guilty of getting caught up in the "supposed to" thoughts. I was supposed to graduate college in 2006. I was supposed to have a career by now. I was supposed to.... I need to constantly remind myself that I'm where I'm "supposed to" be.

I am laughing
I love to laugh. Whether it's cry-worthy, pee-worthy or inappropriate, you'll find me laughing. It's the best cure for whatever ails you.


So who am I?

 I'm flawed and I make mistakes. But I always try. I do good deeds when I can and where I'm able. I appreciate the people and things in my life. I am a partier and a home-body. I'm a realist and a dreamer; a go-getter and a procrastinator. 
I'm me.
Do you know who you are?

April 12, 2013

A Year of Firsts

On April 14, 2012, my life was forever changed. 

This little nugget was brought into my life.

 This weekend we will celebrate her 1st birthday. The past 365 days have been a whirlwind roller coaster of pain, heartbreak, tears, joy, smiles, and laughter. Today, some of the brighter moments...

We had our first swimming lesson together.

We made our first trip to NYC

We went to the spa.

Attended our first concert...

...and probably offended some people.

We dressed up for Halloween...

and went to the pumpkin farm.

We discovered makeup

We learned how to open presents... play with the ornaments.

.... and wear the latest seasonal fashions

... and had a photo shoot in the living room

That little girl is the absolute pride and joy of my life. I will take care of her as though she were my own. I will be her confidant and partner in crime. I will be her friend and mentor. I will be whatever she needs me to be. 

After all, I'm the Aunt.

January 28, 2013

We Want Your... Organs?

Last weekend I was home visiting my parents niece. As always, it was a fun and exhausting weekend. Who knew a 9 month old could wear me out so much? Moms everywhere are saying 'You have no idea!'

If you happened to see it on Twitter last week, my mom saw my blog. I'm not anonymous, but I also don't outwardly share my blog with people IRL. Yes, the link is on my personal Facebook page, my Instagram account, and Twitter but I don't send them links to read it. Only 3 of my BFF's know about it. And they don't read regularly (clearly I need new friends).

As I was saying, my mom read my #MiniMessyProject post, and she said I did a great job. While I was there I was doing some blog stuff and showed her the before/after design done by KV's Confessions. She then proceeded to go post by post all the way back to May. She skimmed and she read. She cried and she laughed. Before she started reading she had asked why I blog. (She also asked what 'blog' means? Anyone? I have no idea. I just do it.) Isn't that the question all of us bloggers get? 'but why do you do it?'  After reading some of the posts, I think she understands now. And if not, that's ok too. It was just nice to have her read it. To see things I said about her knowing she'd never see them.

Also? She informed me that "I laugh all day at work but you're the only person who makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants". That people, is called WINNING! (who woulda thunk it that I'd get to use the pee pants tag again!)


Over the weekend we were joking around about how I disagree with Boyfriend's refusal to be an organ donor. It bugs me. Let's be honest, you'll be deceased. Do you need your organs? If you said no that's correct! She sent him a text (at my prompting) telling him he needed to be a donor and that he was selfish for refusing to do so. While out running errands with my mom Boyfriend and I were texting and the convo went like this:
(I would have posted a screen shot but while my niece was playing with my phone she deleted the thread.)
M: Mom says when you're ready to part with your liver we can talk.
B: What's that mean?
M: She says it's clear you've already parted with your brain.
B: Wowwww. Not donating organs unless my wife needs them, they're mine.
M: Selfish
B: Not at all selfish
M: I do need them. I need them to be donated.
B: haha why do you need them. My eyes and lungs suck
M: I need them donated to others. Liver, heart, kidneys, spleen, pancreas, muscle, bone marrow, tissue...
B: Maybe

At this exact moment my mom and I were in Sears returning something. She made a comment that "if one day he finds himself in a bathtub full of ice he shouldn't worry because 911 is on speed dial". The look on the clerk's face was PRICELESS. His eyes widened and he genuinely took a step back. We tried to explain that we were arguing with my boyfriend that he needs to be an organ donor. His face didn't change much so I said "we should go.. now".

Of course we found it hysterical, but I can see how someone on the outside of the conversation may want to alert the authorities.

Moral of the story: BE AN ORGAN DONOR!