Well hello there! Remember me? I'm that girl who usually posts on schedule but it seems having a stomach bug throws you off a bit. The past 2 days have consisted of me rekindling my love affair with the couch an sleep. And it's been a glorious reunion.
Since today is typicaly a non-post day, there's only one thing to make me post: a fun link-up.
I'm linking up with Erin for her dating link-up. How do we go through life without laughing at disastrous dating stories? We don't! So it's time to share 'em!
I went out with this complete meat head once that I met on POF. That's Plenty of Fish for those of you who haven't ventured into that creepy dating pond. If you haven't, just don't. There are no life guards on duty and you'll be swimming at your own risk.
In admitting my one shallow quality, he had great arms. I know, it's sad but when we get asked out, sometimes we just say yes. He suggested going to the movies and I said it was fine Why self? Why did you agree to this? You hate movie dates. (Red flag #1. Movies are a TERRIBLE idea for a date, unless there's something established.)
First off, all I know about this dude is his name, occupation and what kind of car he has. Quality information, I know. So we're sitting in the theater and watching the movie and he decides he wants to get cute holding my hand and squeezing my knee. (Umm, don't touch me) I can't even tell you what movie we saw because I was mentally recapping what a shitty time I was having so that I could immediately tell one of two best friends. I'm one of those peple that puts their feet on the seat in front of me, but am mindful if others are seatedin front. This guy apparently also sits that way. The only difference is that his feet were on the seat IN FRONT OF ME. Riddle me that one.
At one point in the movie a joke was made. I laughed, the rest of the theater laughed. He whispers to me, "why was that funny?" WHAT?! I'm sorry but if you can't understand punny humor, you just need to leave. Now.
I suffered through the rest of the movie and it came time to leave. Given the disaster that took place for an hour and a half getting drinks afterwards was the farthest thing from my mind. At least with him. The best part was when we were leaving the mall and he says he'll walk me to my truck... and then I can drive him to his car. Seriously. I think my brain exploded with that. I was absolutely dumbfounded. In hind sight I would have laughed in his face, got in my truck and drove off. But since I seem to be a little slow when my brain has just exploded, I allowed him to get in and proceeded to drive him the 50 feet to his car. And then he tries to kiss me?! I wanted to push him out right then and there.
As I drove away talking to myself like a crazy person I immediately sent a message to my MBFF saying he needed to meet me at our bar stat. Two weeks later, this creeper messaged my then-friend asking her to go out on a date.
This right here? Is why I stay single.