August 26, 2013

That Time I Channeled Barney

It's Monday. We're all miserable because it's Monday so let's all just have a good laugh.

Fashion is something that is always changing, and yet, it's cyclical. Hello bell-bottoms and flare jeans. Hey there ponchos and paisley print! What up chunky heeled shoes and neon clothing?! The point is, trends come and go... and then come around again.

Sometimes we try things and it's an epic fail. Take for instance this dress.

What in all the hell.

In my defense, {do I even get one?} I didn't pick this out. It was the senior prom of my then boyfriend and he wanted me to wear this. I'm cringing just typing this.

There's just so much wrong with the picture I'm not sure where to even start.

1) The length. It's just horrible. It hits me at such an awkward spot.

2) The neckline. It's like a v-neck off the shoulder nightmare. I want to pull it up onto my shoulders... and over my face.

3) My hair. I don't even know. My mom tried. We should have just put the damn thing in a ponytail and called it a day night.

4) Those shoes scream, I'm over 55 and headed to church! No offense to my church going readers. My point is, they're just so damn conservative and low. So very low. Thank God my taste in heels, and their height, grew.

5) Lace sleeves and those shoulder wrap/drape things. Really? I don't even need to elaborate on this.

6) You may not be able to see them but my nails? Lavender colored acrylic nails. Why mom? Why did you let me do that??

If I ever had one of those "awkward periods" while growing up, this is most certainly it. And now I need to go burn this photo.

Let's hear it - what's the worst outfit you've ever worn?

August 09, 2013

There Ain't Nothin' Fantasy About Football

Well hey there 2nd weekend of August! How yoooouu doin'?

I have been chomping at the pigskin to talk about this! 

Simply "linkup" with the blogger's league you want to play in! That easy!
 BUT REMEMBER: Only 10 people per league!! So signup FAST for the league you want!

If the blogger's league requires payment, that money will be due via Paypal 3 days prior to the league's draft. Don't hesitate to ask any questions by leaving a comment! 
League Name: Cleats and Cleavage
Cost to Join? Nope!
Winner's Prize: A blog post featuring the the winner and bragging rights
Dirty League? Of course
Draft Date: Sept. 2, 2013 7pm CST
Why should you choose my league? Real football fans ONLY! If you're looking for fun, football, and maybe a little smack talk, then look no further! This will be a fun-loving league full of big-time fans of football, but a little trash talk never hurt anybody. ;)

Michael // Crazy Tragic Almost Magic

League Name: Victorious Secret
Buy in: $10
   1st place - $75
   2nd place - $15
   3rd place - $10
You’re probably wondering why you should join Victorious Secret instead of the other 3 leagues, right? Well, I’ll have you know I’ve been around the commissioner block, so I know what I’m doing. I want to see the smack talk, dirty team names and boasting when your team wins for the week. Nothing is off limits. Get crazy, get signed up and let’s play some “fooseball”!

Karoline // Karoline with a K
About the league: I'm a sportswriter, so I'm looking to have people who really enjoy sports to join my league. Huge bonus if you want to name your team something dirty or funny (I'm still working on my name…). Smack talk is also absolutely encouraged in the message boards! ALSO I don't normally do Saturday posts, so every week on Saturday I am going to be doing a feature spot about the league. For week 1, I will do a writeup about the league and it's members and for weeks 2-13 I will invite each member to guest post about their team and their thoughts on and experience with the league so far (AKA free publicity for you and your blog!)
League type: no entry fee, but there will be prizes in the form of ad space for the top three finishers!
Rules: My only rule is that people set their lineups! It's my biggest pet peeve when team owners don't check their lineups and leave injured/inactive/bye-week players on their team any given Sunday!!

Nadine // Back East Blonde
League Name: Does this league make my butt look big?
Cost of Joining League: fo free
Winner receives: Lots of good ju-ju and a free medium ad space on Back East Blonde (and maybe the other team members blogs, if they want to pony up)
League description: For years I've sat on the sidelines, admiring my man friend's fantasy football team and occasionally being his Jenny behind the scenes (if you didn't get that League reference, reevaluate your life). But alas, the time has come for me to step out of his fantasy football shadow. I've got FOMO like a MOFO and if you do to, this league is for you. League members are strongly encouraged to draft players based on the following criteria: talent, looks, and warm fuzzies. Expect Tom Brady to go in the first round (duh...pause while I drool), Arian Foster to get lots of awwws (did you know he went vegan? precious), and Michael Vick will not be available to be drafted. Because if there's one thing bloggers love, it's puppies. Silly smack talk is always encouraged and wildly inappropriate team names are a must. Now let's have some fun, shall we?

Team Name: When in Romo, Do As the Bloggers Do
Cost of Joining League: 20 hard earned dollars
Winner Receives: $180, 2nd place gets their money back.
Draft Date: Aug 25 4pm CST
About the League: This ain't your grandmother's league. But only because mine is actually already signed up to play in my mom's league. That wasn't a joke. Rules are there are no rules. I don't give a flip if you ever update your roster, talk smack or are even available for the live draft. In fact, better just give me your money now, save us all some time. I'm just looking around to see who is going to finish second. Get your popcorn ready, cause I'm gonna put on a show.

I know. It's just too cool for school. 
 Get yourself linked up and get ready to play! 

August 07, 2013

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Back in the 5th grade I was awesome. At least that's the way I saw things.

I was grown up now. I mean c'mon, I was in the fifth grade. We ruled the school. No more kid things for me! These thoughts directly applied to school pictures. I had to look more like the adult 5th grader I knew I was rather than the childish 4th grader I was last year. Crayons were a thing of the past. I had moved on to mature things like colored pencils. Although I may or may not have returned to my room to retrieve the collector's edition tin of crayons I accidentally left over the summer.

Anywho... what was I saying? Oh yes. School pictures were coming up and I needed to look grown. Earlier that year I wore an awesome cornflower blue silk dress with pearl buttons to church for Easter. I absolutely loved it. It was the dressiest thing I owned. Perfect for school pictures! The only thing left to do was to figure out my hair. My childhood hair was a crazy thing.
Remember these? Don't act like you don't.

I was so awesome that I had a collection of these in my hair. While most of you wore one or two if you were rocking pigtails, I usually had about 6 or 7 taming my crazy curls.

With my new 5th grade stardom, these ponytail holders would be unacceptable for the school picture. I mean, this was the yearbook photo after all. The one everyone would see. The one memorialized for all time. In hindsight, this was the least of my worries.

On top of the hair concerns I realized that my eyebrows were a little... full. Continuing with my new adult status, these needed to be tamed. So of course I took matters, and a Bic razor, into my own hands. Bad idea Michael. Bad, bad idea.

Behold, the glorious grown up 4th grade photo. Forever memorializing my ridiculousness.

Should we even discus this? Seriously. What the eff was I thinking?! 

I'm missing half an eyebrow.


If I remember correctly we tried to pencil it in with eyeliner or something but it just didn't work out too well. Pencils are good for filling in brows, not creating them. The best part is, I still get teased by my family about this every now and then.

Moral of the story?

Hang on to childhood, and hair, for as long as possible because shaving your eyebrows is never a good idea.