Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I'm Not There But I'm Here

A few weeks ago I was thinking (so much work) and it led me to thinking about where I am in life and where I thought I'd be at this age. For the record, they're two entirely different places.

Of course I forgot about these thoughts until a post-it slipped out of my planner.

So where exactly did I see myself at this age? Well, certainly not where I am.

... I'd be done with college
I had a plan. Kind of. I was on Polly's non-plan plan. {Anyone know the movie?} Still, I figured I'd be graduated from college with my Psychology degree. Instead I'm a year away from graduating with my Bachelor's in Justice Studies with a Paralegal concentration.

... I'd be engaged
Don't we all just kind of assume we'll be engaged around this age? Unless you're on a strict no marriage plan. Then, well, then you would have other plans that you hadn't realized. Point is, I for some reason thought I'd be "settled" by now. Who am I kidding? I don't even know what that means. Needless to say I'm not, and won't be anytime soon.

...I'd be debt free
Who knows with this one. I do know I didn't think I'd even have credit/retail card debt at 20 so obviously I thought I'd be debt free. Seeing as how I owe the IRS and I have  an increasing $35k in student loans, this isn't happening any time soon

...I'd be rolling in some type of dough
I'm not an idiot. I sure as hell didn't think I'd be loaded but I figured I'd have a decent amount of green in the bank to shop at my fancy with. I'll settle for cookie dough at this point.

...I'd have left the country
Not left as in expat but hell, you'd think I'd have a passport and have at least left US soil by now. I'm gunning to make this happen in the next 3 years though, the 1001 list has a pretty big travel section.

...I'd be a parent
Didn't see that one coming didya? I don't even have a sensible explanation either. It's insane really. When I was 15 I was firm on the "I don't want kids" soapbox. And yet, I would always think 'I want to be a young mom'. (At 15, 25 was young). When I actually hit 25 I laughed in my 15 year old self's face. A kid? At 25?! Oh honey, go play with Barbie. Here I am though, on the verge on 29 and I still stand on my "I don't want kids" soapbox... while silently adding names to my just-in-case kid list.

Your turn! What's something you thought you'd have checked off by now?


  1. Are you happy? That's the most important question to ask yourself. Don't put pressure on yourself to check off things on a list. Life is much too short.

  2. Nearly all of these are on my list too. Granted I'm a few years behind and I can check engagement off, I'm DEEP in student debt, I don't have an excess of savings and I thought I'd have kids by now! It's so crazy to think about the twists and turns life takes. Sometimes it seems like its for the best but other times, it makes you wonder what it'd be like to have stayed on that path... Either way, everything happens for a reason!

  3. I'm 29 as well but I'll be 30 in two weeks. Yes I am not where I planned or at least thought I would be in life. It's almost depressing in a way. I never finished college and I hoped to be getting my masters in Italia. I hoped that I would be in at least a long term relationship if not engaged. Now with my medical condition nothing seems like I really did anything. At least I'm happy person with a ton load of student loans to pay. Oh the joys of being a grown up.

  4. I absolutely LOVE this blog entry. I agree with most things you say about kids, being engaged, and being debt free. It's crazy because I thought that I would be ready for those things but I still feel like a an immature teenage girl at times. I also thought that by now I would have my career set and to own a house. I get bummed thinking about not being the version of myself I thought I would be by now. I am still enjoying other things in the meantime that I knew I would be doing now like random traveling from state to state and out of the country, and trying new ventures like driving four hours away from home alone to try out for a sports team. If I owned a house and had a set career I wouldn't have had the time in my twenties to live by the seat of my pants...a last hoorah! before people start looking at me crazy as an adolescent minded 40yr old lol. Sorry for the rambling.

  5. I have no idea where I thought I'd be. Oh, Christ. Now that's giving me anxiety that at 15 I should've been planning my life out so I could've adequately failed myself by now. At the rate I"m going, I won't even disappoint myself 'til age 40!!