August 26, 2013

That Time I Channeled Barney

It's Monday. We're all miserable because it's Monday so let's all just have a good laugh.

Fashion is something that is always changing, and yet, it's cyclical. Hello bell-bottoms and flare jeans. Hey there ponchos and paisley print! What up chunky heeled shoes and neon clothing?! The point is, trends come and go... and then come around again.

Sometimes we try things and it's an epic fail. Take for instance this dress.

What in all the hell.

In my defense, {do I even get one?} I didn't pick this out. It was the senior prom of my then boyfriend and he wanted me to wear this. I'm cringing just typing this.

There's just so much wrong with the picture I'm not sure where to even start.

1) The length. It's just horrible. It hits me at such an awkward spot.

2) The neckline. It's like a v-neck off the shoulder nightmare. I want to pull it up onto my shoulders... and over my face.

3) My hair. I don't even know. My mom tried. We should have just put the damn thing in a ponytail and called it a day night.

4) Those shoes scream, I'm over 55 and headed to church! No offense to my church going readers. My point is, they're just so damn conservative and low. So very low. Thank God my taste in heels, and their height, grew.

5) Lace sleeves and those shoulder wrap/drape things. Really? I don't even need to elaborate on this.

6) You may not be able to see them but my nails? Lavender colored acrylic nails. Why mom? Why did you let me do that??

If I ever had one of those "awkward periods" while growing up, this is most certainly it. And now I need to go burn this photo.

Let's hear it - what's the worst outfit you've ever worn?


  1. I actually think the dress is pretty nice. So I guess I'm just another reason you shouldn't let your men dress you.

  2. I am lovin' those big poofy sleeves that taper in lace. Dang I would have killed for that purple dress back in the day!!!

  3. haha I'm sure your mom has this picture framed and hanging on her wall near the main entrance of her house ... If she does, then your mom and my mom need to meet because my embarrassing grade school and middle school pics are alll up for the world to see at my mom's place. Doesn't make sense how they let us walk of the house looking like we did back then haha.

  4. There is NO way I'm taking the rap for that f****ing nite mare. One mor time when mom knew best you just didn't believe me.

  5. Just for the record, your posts slay me.

  6. Omg, I'm dying over here! Now I need to go back and look at some of my old photos. haha!

  7. OMG hahahaha! i remember those cheesy backgrounds for the prom pics. LOLOLOLOLOL

    Vodka and Soda

  8. that dress is priceless. i hope you still have it so one day you can make your own daughter wear it!!

  9. Ahhhhh those sleeves! Those SLEEVES! But you still look completely retro-fabulous. Someday I'll share pictures of me from my formal high school days. Here are the highlights: tall, gangly tranny in a sparkly blue dress. You're welcome.

    Also, I really love that you look like you're posing with Tinkerbell's wallpaper.