Friday, September 20, 2013

In A Galaxy Far Away

You know what's long overdue? Some Friday Letter's. Let's do the damn thing.

Dear Job Market: Seriously? I just don't even know how much more I can get fed up with you. Open up, grow, do whatever it is that you need to do to be more available because this girl is ready to move on.

Dear iPhone: This relationship is over. It's not me, it's you. And yes, there is someone else. I've upgraded and he makes me happy. You were always late, taking your sweet time. You always looked drunk with your hazy pictures. This new guy? He's a minute man, but in a good way, and well, he's just bigger. You'll find someone else...eventually.

Dear Car: What in all the hell. Do I not take care of you? Do I not keep you clean and bird poop free? Do I not avoid abusing you? Why then, might I ask, do you all of a sudden need 4 new shoes? You may not be aware of this but tires are expensive. And all 4??? Thanks for sending me back to the poor house.

Dear Life: You're a bitch. That is all.

And moving on....

So, we're only about a week late, but you know that's how we roll in these parts. Last Saturday I went to the mall to try and do some clothes shopping. Mostly for new work stuff, but since I'm lazy, I always try to buy pieces that double for work and "play". My first stop of course was to Best Buy Mobile to see how much they'd give me for trade in of my iPhone 4. 

Imagine my BRF when she told me that my phone is water damaged. Umm, since when? I was super careful with that POS and it never so much as saw a... ok. Lezzbehonest. It may have had a splash on the screen every now and then, but it was never submerged in water. There was no water under the screen, etc. So basically they were going to tell me to shit in one hand and wish in the other. Great.

I headed over to GameStop next to check their price. I was upfront with the guy and it turns out they couldn't take it either. Unless I wanted to recycle it. The guy was cool though and told me I could probably get $100 for it on Craigslist. In a last ditch effort I stopped in RadioShack. I haven't stepped foot in one of their stores in almost 10 years and yet this time, they were my unknown mecca. 

I explained what I wanted to do, was upfront with the clerk and was waiting for the bad news. Instead I was met with We'll give you $100 for it. 

But since I try to remain all cool and cucumber like I simply said We'll do it right now then.

And that peeps is how this glorious box came into my possession

That guys and dolls is my new S4. 

I have yet to name it, but I probably will. I name everything, like a weirdo. 

It's magical you guys, like Lucky Charms

The screen is so big and bright and I can see everything without needing to zoom. It's smooth and laptop like without walking around with an actual laptop. And it's fast. Obviously there's a cheetah strapped to its back. 

All my favorite apps are here and the party hasn't stopped yet. 

And the bestest, most awesome, makes me want to shout from the roof tops...

my pictures are now back to being crystal clear! No more scratched camera lens with cloudy pics. Seriously. That was the 2nd biggest reason for switching over. 13MP of awesome. 

Last night, I realized I can make gifs. On my phone. GIFS! 

K tried to talk to me while I was playing with it. Let's just say things didn't end well for him. I mean, what are you doing trying to cut in on this new relationship I'm in? Men... so clueless. 

And this isn't sponsored or anything, but if Samsung would like to throw me some dollas to make me holla, I'd be happy to umm... holla. But anyway, if you're considering switching from Team Jobs, Nike that shit. 

True that Samsung. True that. 


  1. I love my Android phone, I know you're not a cool kid unless you have an iPhone but I don't even care.

  2. Congratulations on kicking your iPhone to the curb. Enjoy your new Galaxy. It has been quite a while since we've had some Friday Letters too. It's nice to see that back. Shame the job market sucks. It's like that here too, which is why I was so disappointed when I didn't get the job that came up recently that sounded so good for me.

  3. Hahaha! Yay for a new phone!!! My brother in law has the Samsung and it really does take great photos! Out with the blur!!!

  4. Love those letters and congrats on your new phone. I'm one of those dinosaurs who still uses a crackberry.

  5. I got my S4 a couple of months ago (upgraded from the S3) and I love it! I'm right on board with the camera, it's awesome.

    Loved this post.

  6. This is hilarious! I love the "F.U life, thanks for the crap you gave me this week, hallelujah new phone"

  7. the S4 is SO pretty. i must say.
    and it's pretty badass. i don't have it but it continually impresses me.