Monday, September 30, 2013

Sleeping Beauty vs. The Bear

It's been a while since you guys have heard from K, so today, he's back with another post all about me from his perspective.
Sooo, my second blog post. Don't start on how I'm not a blogger, my lovely lady wants me to talk about five things that annoy me about her. Only five?? I kid, I kid.

Being Late// Why are all women late? Why do I have to say 5:30 so she's ready by 6? However, if we're leaving to go to her parents' house, a 3 1/2 hour drive, I have to be on time. Umm, double standard? I think so. Just be on time! A 3 1/2 hour drive requires time. So obviously you should leave on time. What if there's traffic?!

The Clowder// When I sleep, I like to sleep on my back. Her cats like to scratch and meow outside the door all night. That's not the problem though. When my lady wants to yell at the cats through the door she turns towards me and yells... right in my ear. WTF. Just scream forward please. And the laughter commences... I can't help it. I've dealt with their shenanigans much longer than he has.

Sleep// When I get home late from the gym on Friday's, my girl is laying across the bed basically giving me a coffin's worth of space to sleep in.

I have no chance. Just stay on your side, okay? This is entirely accurate. In my defense, I don't like to share my sleeping space.

Being The Man// Have any of you ever met this girl?! She doesn't like showing any sort of I-can't-do-it-please-help-me type emotions. She has to do everything and hates my opinion on it. Trust me, I love my independent women but I can do stuff too. Let me help, not just when you want me to help Ok, this. This is something I admit to struggling with. I've become soooo accustomed to doing things on my own that it's hard to allow others to do things whenI know I can just do them myself. Small victory! I let K install the new toilet seat. I get a cookie, no?

Morning 'Tude// My girl hates mornings. She likes to be by herself and "do her thing". She doesn't like hugging or kissing in the morning. Oh, I'm sorry I leave an hour and a half before her and want to hug and kiss my girlfriend goodbye. People.... two words for you. Morning breath. I hates it. Also, I hate waking up for work. I'm like a bear disturbed from hibernation. I shall try to be more Sleeping Beauty and less... bear.

Of course all these things can be worked on and I love her unconditionally whether these five things annoy me or not, but someone, anyone please be on my side!

So the award for the world's worst girlfriend goes to...... yeah. And all I have to say is

Ha. No one hates kittens. Automatic forgiveness.


  1. Tyson says I'm always taking up the whole bed when he comes in, I personally think he's making it up because I'm pretty sure I just stick to my side.

  2. Haha! Love hearing things from the guy's perspective. I have to admit, I definitely take up the entire bed when the bf isn't there either!

  3. Keith, Keith Keith. Where to begin? The clowder. (Don't you just love that word?) Be glad she keeps them outside of the room. They could be sleeping on your head.
    The bed hogging. A coffin. Really? It could be the bathtub. Filled with ice. Bwahahaha!!!
    Last but not least, the "I'll do it myself syndrome". In my house, at least, by the time I've asked for something to be done, oh, say 6 times, Thanks for nothing, I'll do it myself or make you feel really guilty while trying. But seriously Keith, love you!

  4. LMAO!!!!
    This is the best post ever.
    I cannot imagine co-habitating right now because I would totally never provide more than that coffin-sized amount of space.
    Britt @ One&20

  5. I'm right there with you on all five of these. These are things that men just need to deal with.

  6. This is so cute! I'm so the opposite! It's my Hubby who takes up the whole bed and I'm totally lovey in the mornings! But you're right...kitten equals automatic forgiveness! ;-)

  7. Bahaha! I'm a recovering bed stealer myself. When Derrick's away I sleep diagonal and sprawl myself out as much as possible just to get it out of my system.