October 14, 2013

And Then We Played 20 Questions

Today I'm feeling.... lazy. Ok, not really, but I saw these "This or That" prompts from Erin a few weeks ago and saved them for a rainy lazy day. I thought they were pretty good so today you're getting my responses.

Vacationing in Florida or vacationing in NYC: Seeing as how I've never been to Florida.... Bienvenidos a Miami!

iPhone or Droid: I used to to be Team iphone. And then like a bad ex, I moved on.

NSYNC or Backstreet Boys: Can I say neither? God, I hate boy bands.

Being forced to delete Facebook or being forced to delete Twitter: I want to say Facebook since I purposely spend so little time on it as is, but I have a lot of family on there. So... Facebook.

Fireball or Miller Lite: I'm copying Erin on this one, "Miller Lite because I'm the biggest baby about taking shots." I love shots, especially tequila ones. But when people want to take all different kinds in less than 2 hours. I turn into a soggy cookie.

Full House or Family Matters: Damn. I grew up watching both of these. I'm convinced that either would be the wrong answer.

Dumbledore or Gandalf: Dumbledore. Always. I enjoyed the ring trilogy but c'mon.

Dying Easter eggs or Carving pumpkins: Carving pumpkins. First you take out all the seeds, then you soak and bake them while you carve. Win-win.

NFL or NCAAF: NFL baby. Did you not see my confessions last week?

A hangover forever or sobriety forever: I'm going with the hangover. Mine are a "feed me a burger and no one gets hurt" kind of thing. I can live with that.

January or July: July. It's got the 3 S's - Sun, sand and saltwater.

Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus: I despised Hannah Montana. And Miley, maybe she should just go back to Hannah.

Shark Week or Fashion Week: Without fail, Shark Week.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Saved by the Bell: There is no winner here. Cookies for everyone!
Britney or Christina: Christina. The girl has a powerhouse voice.

Burrito or Burrito Bowl: Burrito. Go big or go home. Preferably with the burrito.

Reading blogs on your phone or reading blogs on your computer: On el laptop. That much reading on the phone is annoying. But since I have a new screen, I might give it another go.
Angelina or Jennifer: Angelina. She's just got that bad-ass Barbie thing about her.
Doug Funny or The Rugrats: Hmm. I do love me some Porkchop. Yes. Doug all the way. I don't like babies.
An open mouth chewer or a heavy breather: Heavy breather. I can not stand open mouth chewers. Seriously, I go zero to raging in 0.05 seconds.

So there ya have it. Seriously, it's 20 questions. I counted.

October 10, 2013

Cop A Feel

Ladies, be honest. How often do you give yourself a grab?

I'm sure it's not nearly as often as you should. Today myself and many others are joining in Erin's annual Pinktober giveaway. You'll be entered to win a bunch of awesome prizes but MOST IMPORTANTLY we're spreading awareness and asking you all to give yourselves a feel!

Two Thirds Hazel
If you haven't seen the pink cleats scattering the football fields of every NFL game or the umpteen amount of pink ribbons floating around Facebook lately then you might not know that it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. But have no fear because Erin from Two Thirds Hazel got a whole bunch of bloggers together to bring you a giveaway just to make sure you remember.  The point of the giveaway is to raise awareness about this deadly disease as well as to raise money for breast cancer research in order to hopefully one day end it. And what better way to do that than to throw a whole bunch of PINK prizes your way to entice you to feel yourself up to check for lumps. That's right, feel yourself up by giving yourself a breast exam! Aka the only mandatory thing you'll need to do in order to enter for your chance to win. Win what you ask? Well let's take a little peek and see the prizes shall we.
1) A $300 gift card to Victoria's Secret PINK. Or just Victoria's Secret if you so choose. But either way you'll be getting TONS of new bras to carry those lovely lady lumps of yours around in. And with this much money you might even be able to snag some new panties and a bikini or two!

2) Over $100 worth of makeup and accessories. Snag yourself a lip duo from Sephora, a few blushes, nail polish, lip balms, a makeup bag, a watch, a scarf, a rose quartz and pearl bracelet, a pink pouf from Stella and Dot and more!
3) Over $100 worth of ad space. Get your pretty face on the sidebars of some awesome blogs in order to grow your own blog and gain more exposure.
4) $60 worth of Essie nail polish. You'll get five different pink polishes as well as base and top coats. Add in a pretty pink nail file and your digits will be thanking you for months to come.
5) A set of pink Vino2Go wine glass cups. Because what better way will there be to celebrate winning this giveaway than to sit down and pour yourself a glass (or two, or five) of wine.
6) A $25 design credit. After you're done shopping for new bras, painting your nails, applying makeup, throwing on new accessories and drinking wine, go update your blog with this awesome credit.

And now that you've met all of the amazingly generous ladies behind this giveaway, I think it's about time we got to entering it. So start stripping and begin feeling because the best method of prevention is early detection. If you've never given yourself an exam and need some guidance be sure to read the following information brought to you by the National Breast Cancer Foundation on the best ways to get the job done. If you already know how to get yourself to second base then carry on and head straight down to the Rafflecopter below to enter!
1) IN THE SHOWERUsing the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.
2) IN FRONT OF A MIRRORVisually inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour, any swelling, or dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Next, rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women's breasts do, so look for any dimpling, puckering, or changes, particularly on one side.

3) LYING DOWNWhen lying down, the breast tissue spreads out evenly along the chest wall. Place a pillow under your right shoulder and your right arm behind your head. Using your left hand, move the pads of your fingers around your right breast gently in small circular motions covering the entire breast area and armpit. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Since the primary purpose of this giveaway is to spread awareness, the only thing that's mandatory in order to enter is for you to give yourself the breast exam. The second option available for entry (although definitely not mandatory) is to donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation. This option will get you the most entries because you'll be given an extra entry per every dollar you donate. A $20 donation equals 20 extra entries. Make sense? Good. So get to entering and find some pink fluffy feelings in your heart to help out a great cause!

October 07, 2013

The Manual

In case you missed it last week, K was back on the blog talking about the things that annoy him most about me. It brought one thought to mind: I should come with a manual.

Shouldn't we all? I mean, yeah, getting to know how a person works, what they like and what sets them off is, umm, part of the "process", but wouldn't it be a tad bit easier if we all had a manual to give prospective significant others? I think so.

If I came with a manual, here are a few things you'd find in it.

One = Do not wake her up. She's like a hibernating bear when she sleeps. She does not want to be shaken stirred. If you do happen to wake her up, she'll most likely be cranky, sarcastic, and irrationally angry.

Two = Do not ask her to "relax" or "calm down". Just don't do it. These two phrases will immediately make her want to punch you in the face. On second thought, don't ever say this to any woman. The reaction will be the same.

Three = Do make her laugh daily. Even if she's angry, if someone can make her laugh she will automatically feel less stabby. You'll find it will help you through a lot of situations.

Four = Do feed her often. Preferably in the form of anything Chipotle or having to do with chips and salsa. Cupcakes will also do the trick. Honestly, she'll eat just about anything. If you keep her fed, you keep her happy. Cook for her. If you can't cook, learn.

someecards.com - I judge a man by the size of his sandwich.

Five = Have your own hobbies. This girl, she likes her space. You should have your own hobbies and do your own thing so that she can sit around in her sheep pajamas watching marathons of SYTTD and New Girl. She needs time to use face masks and dance like a crazy person to the Footloose soundtrack.

Six = Don't ask obvious questions. She'll immediately become annoyed and probably tease you for it. See also Chapter 4: Sarcasm, The Girl & You.

Pretty step-by-step if you ask me. I try to be as upfront as possible so they know what their getting into. K seems to be the only one with a somewhat working knowledge of how I work. Either that or he's a glutton for punishment. 

What would be in YOUR manual?