January 27, 2014

Adolescent Innocence

I was really hoping that this would be my weekend. The one where I got to sit on my couch, catch up with the DVR and veg out.

Instead, Saturday night, K and I went to a performance at The Kennedy Dancers that a friend of his was a part of. Sunday we hit the gym (go me!) and then hung out with friends and ooh-ed and ahh-ed over their new baby. we got home and I was whipped. As in, let's go to bed at 6:30. That's a new record, even for me.

Seeing as how I couldn't go to bed before a 2 year old does, I made myself a cup of coffee and started working on this post. Originally I had planned on retyping a journal entry in its entirety from when I was 16. As I was reading through them trying to find one I realized that no one should be reading those thoughts. Talk about young and inexperienced in life. At 29 the things I was worrying about are almost comical. Oh Michael, if you only knew...

Instead of embarrassing myself all over the inter-webs I've decided to share snippets of some entries.

December 23, 2000
I called MW today and he was home! I want to go out with him so bad, I really like him. But I dunno if he has any interest in me or not.

May 8, 2001
DRAMA! Ugh! First of all, David asked me out Thursday. Kyle still wants to be with me, and I found out Shawn still likes me today. Joe is still crushing on me and me... I want Jim!

January 26, 2002
I can't wait to grow up and be in my 20s. It'll be so much fun. :)

June 15, 2002
Everything has changed so much. I'm done with school and I'll start college in the fall. It's so weird.

December 17, 2002
I went to a club for the first time on the 6th, It was SO much fun. No hotties though.

Dear Michael...

I realize you're young and have a limited outlook on things but let me just hit you with some knowledge. First, screw MW. You'll learn he's an ass and that there are plenty of cocky assholes just like him. Ignore them all.

Also? STFU. Are you really complaining that three different guys are interested in you? Enjoy it.

Oh hunny, your 20s. What can I say other than embrace the struggle. They are going to be some of the hardest years you'll experience. There will be a lot of fun, yes, but they're going to be rough. 

You're excited for college now. I have two words for you: career student.

Clubs. You truly make me giggle. You'll see the inside of several but by your mid-20s you're going to be so over them you'd rather dance around in your living room in your underwear. 

I can't. This makes me laugh so hard.

Moral of the story? Sweet baby Jesus have I changed. If you even need to see how far you've come, or how much you've changed, go back and read your old journals. I want to punch my younger year old self in the face. 

January 20, 2014

Fat to Fit #1

If you're an office slave like me then I hope you enjoyed your day off. If not, I don't feel bad for you because I'm sure there is some holiday you get off that I don't. Yes I'm gloating. No I'm not sorry.

I'm even more un-sorry as I've spent the weekend with Little Miss and some other favorites. Which accounts for the fact that this Sunday post is appearing at 10:30 on a Monday night. 2 year olds are more fun than drafting posts.


Here we are starting week 3 of my overhaulin' project. I struggled something fierce in my first 5 days back on WW. And by struggled I mean blew it. I tracked everything so I'll give myself a bronze start there but I demolished my extra weeklies were gone by Sunday night. #fail

Week 2 was a little better. I pre-tracked some of my meals and even though I had a department party and a brunch to go to, I think I did well. My weigh in for week in was 186.2 so I was down 2.8 #WIN

Week 3 was good food wise. I tracked everything, stayed within my points, barely used my weeklies, went to the gym once and.... I gained. It was only .2 and I'm not even acknowledging this because of TOM and I'm chalking it up to bloat and water weight. I plan on going into week 4 with a loss!

This week finds me back at school so I need to find meals that will keep me full much longer than usual; and I need snacks that I can take to class with me. I mapped out my weekly schedule and I'm going to make a serious effort to get to the gym the three days I'm not in class.

This is one of my favorite weight loss inspiration quotes. It's exactly what needs to be done to be successful and get where I want to be.

Venus Trapped in Mars

January 15, 2014

You Can't Do That on Social Media!

Remember back in school when there were classes you wish they offered? And of course they were eventually, always at a time when they wouldn't fit in your schedule. Or long after you were gone.

Last week New Jersey passed a bill (A3292) that if signed into law would require middle school students to take a course on how to use social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram in a safe and responsible manner. In a digital world where everything is remembered in some dark, back alley looking section of the internet, are all the posts, photos and tweets that you wish you'd never posted.

The thing is, as forward thinking as this is, these kids aren't really benefitting if they graduate not knowing how to spell, read, or just go through life in general but are educated on social media. Which, let's be honest they know more about than the adults. So instead, I'm going to make it real simple.

Everyone loves a good selfie. So much so that it was officially added to the dictionary (smh...) The thing is, there are some basic rules to selfie taking. DON'T make the picture all about your boobs. I can look at mine. I don't need to see yours. DO post clear pictures. No one wants to figure out the mystery of your blurry photo. If you're take them in the bathroom, DON'T get the toilet in the frame. Just no.

First, DO share until your fingers fall off. That's the way I find out about new blogs, giveaways, news and funny posts about what cats would say if they were yelling at people. However, DON'T share your life story. I don't care what you had for breakfast, lunch or that you are at the grocery store. DON'T retweet everything.

You know, I really only have three things to say here: be fucking nice. Ok, I lied. Also, be sincere. If you dislike something, say so, nicely. There's no reason to act like a damn sheep and just go along with what everyone else is saying. The Golden Globes... Jennifer Lawrence's dress?  I FREAKING HATE IT! But you know what I'm not going to, start an Internet fight.

Someone cracked me up with this on Monday. As soon as I remember whose blog it was, I'll credit.

Ok, I know there is some debate on this one but seriously, when there's a paragraph of hashtags I just want to slap you. Do you need that much attention? And don't tell me you're promoting the picture because half of them are full on sentences that no one will search and the others are probably stupid. #sorrynotsorry

In the life of a blogger having a social media presence is key. It's how we network and market ourselves. It's how we gain followers and spread our voice. The thing is, there's a time and place for that when it comes to real life. DO NOT be one of those assholes who is on their phone scrolling through your accounts nonstop. Be in the moment. This video, I Forgot My Phone, by Charlene deGuzman & Miles Crawford is just awesome.

And really, that's all you need to know. Have fun with it, network, share but don't let it take over. Now, if only they'd pay me the beaucoup Congress bucks for breaking down what politicians will surely fight over.

January 13, 2014


This blogging schedule thing is harder than I was anticipating. I'm thinking maybe I need to be a bit more specific in my topics? Mondays are reserved for "life lately", which basically means catching up, weekend recaps and whatever is presently going on. So although this is kind of a list, it's more life related.

Feeling... discombobulated. (I don't think I've ever seen that word written out, it looks weird...) I don't know what the deal is but I just feel...all over the place. It's not big stuff but there's a lot om my lil' ol' plate right now.

Smelling... the chili that's doing it's thing in the crock-pot. Hello delicious.

Ignoring... this football game. I don't know what got into me but I was barely interested in football this season. Apparently the Bronocs are sweeping the Chargers. It's Payton. Was this really a doubt?

Weighing... 186.2 Pretty excited about this since I lost 2.8 in my first week. Going to see if I can't make this a repeat performance next week.

Contemplating (K said I can't use the word thinking because I should be doing that all the time)... how to finesse my resume and make it kick ass for the internship I need to do in the fall.

Watching... American Horror Story. You guys, I freaking love this show. I'm currently watching/DVRing AHS: Coven and I'm loving it so much that I rented the first season.

So that's life lately. Ever feel like there's a whole bunch of nothing going on but you still feel busy and restless? That's me.

I'm pretty sure this just means I need a vacation.

January 08, 2014

If I Were a Boy

Sometimes I think about guys. Not guys like Adam Levine or Chris Hemsworth swoon! but guys... as in, what it would be like to be one. And not in the Beyonce way either. With a personality like mine and the name Michael it's kind of hard not to wonder how I'd be if I were a guy. Therefore, five reasons I choose the XY.

one// I'd have the best wardrobe
I have this penchant for men's wear. I could shop the men's section faster and better than I could the women's. I mean, have you seen their selection lately? I'd be the best dressed man on the block. GQ, I'll be waiting.

two// Engines make me purr
I'm one those chicks who loves cars. I get a little giddy whenever I hear turbos or superchargers spool. Aston Martin's, Lamborghini's, I love them all. Their shiny coats and all their horses make me swoon. And don't even get me started about a properly done with a matte finish.

Just Vanquish this to my driveway right now. 

three// Frilly drinks are not for me
From the time I started drinking at 17 I have been a whiskey drinker. I dread the fact that I'm even going to say this but... I was drinking Jack Daniels before it was cool. You ladies can keep your sex on the beach and cosmopolitans. Pour me a Jack & Coke or give me a nice craft beer and I'll be in liquid heaven.

four// That metabolism though
I like salad and I try to not let the inner fatass out too often but I love me some wings, pizza, burgers, beer, macNcheese, nachos, dip... you get the point. I want ALL the food all the time. They can eat an entire pizza and it's "okay". They eat everything and gain nothing. I'm convinced they could eat all of that up there and would only need to fart to lose weight.

five// Freedom
There is nothing worse than being on a road trip and having to find a rest stop. Guys don't know how good they have it. They can just pull over, whip it out and handle business. What the hell?! Anatomy is not my friend.

And there you have it. Sometimes, although rare, it might be more fun to be one of the guys, or in my case, at least have some of their traits. What do they have (guy or girl) that you're jealous of?