Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Little Things | The Flip Side

A few weeks ago I wrote about all the little things I missed when I left Manhattan. Today we're going to talk about all the little things that make me want to burst into Hulk sized fits of rage. 

1/ Escalator Etiquette
{deep breath in, deep breath out} If you want to see me go from 0 to 461654 in a nanosecond, stand on the left side of the escalator. Why is this so damn hard to understand. Walk on the left, stand on the right. 

2/Tourists in General
I get it, you're in {one of} the greatest city on the East Coast, you want to take pictures, you're overwhelmed, or if you're lucky, you're lost. I get it. New York is big and can be overwhelming. It's no excuse. People live and work here. I wouldn't visit any country in Europe and just stand in the middle of the sidewalk trying to figure out my ass from my elbow. Hint: move.

3/ Lunch Bites
It's no secret that NYC is expensive. It's one giant tourist trap, but even when you're not swimming in that cesspool known as Times Square, it's still not cheap. Take lunch for example. You want to be healthy. Salad is healthy. So you walk into Chop't or any number of places where you can get some greens. Be prepared to hand over a $20 and get less than half of it back. Your average salad is $14. 

4/ Swimming in the Street
During our rainy seasons some of the streets turn into a giant mess because of dips in the road. I've stepped in some puddles where my foot was completely submerged. There's no way to look at them and know whether you're going to make it across the street or fall in some wormhole.

5/ Luggage
I kid you not, I was strongly compelled to kick some woman’s rolling luggage the other morning. These people just drag it along behind them without a care in the world. Newsflash: these are busy streets and no one has time for your luggage to be taking up valuable walking real estate. Do yourself, and the rest of us, a favor and pack lighter.

6/ Eau de Urine and Eau de Garbage
Unfortunately, when it starts to heat up in the city these "natural" perfumes become more and more evident. You try to be tactful and just ignore it but sometimes it's so repulsing you have to cover your face.

I don't drive in the city very often, and when I do, I usually don't have any problems. However, if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck in gridlock or rush hour traffic I hope you have War & Peace in your car somewhere.

The building on the right is my old office :)
Admittedly, this isn't even traffic. It is, however, what 7th Avenue looks like at all times of the day.

If I could just get rid of all 6 of these things, the city would be the most wonderful place. Buy you know... yin and yang.

What don't you like about NYC?

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