Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Clarissa Didn't Explain it All

Being a girl is weird to me. It's also challenging at times. I'm a big fan of the walk in like you own the place attitude. It's comfortable to me. It makes sense. These things don't.

How do you beauties command all this pretty-fying sorcery? I'm over here all look at me I washed my face and put on lip gloss, and you're looking straight off the runway. Also? Where do you find the time and patience for this? Someone gift me with a personal makeup artist.

If you look in my closet it screams college. Sure that's where I spent a lot of my evenings, but it's not the way I want to look. I don't know how you all pull such gorgeous outfits together. I consider it a win when I'm even dressed. This extends to accessories too.

Believe it or not, this is something I've never really done. I'm a serial monogamist. And while I'm glad I never had to deal with dating horror stories I'm also kind of sad about that same lack of experience. I have no 'omg, this one guy!...' stories {except the one}and no funny nicknames for dating disasters. I wish someone had said Hey gurrrl, here's some life advice: date everyone, it will make for some super awesome blog posts later on. Or something to that effect.

Gold, Bows, and fuzzy things
What is it about this shit that makes chicks go ape shit and need all the things? Personally, I hate gold. I don't like the way it looks {cheap, unless it's white, in which case it looks like silver...}, I'm really not a fan of it being the new "it" color. As for bows, meh. Unless I'm wearing Little Miss' bows. In which case I may just start wearing them on the regular.

Female Socialization
"Girlfriends" are kind of a mystery to me. I mean I have a few {4 to be exact, one of whom is my Mom} but the entire thing kind of eludes me. I'm not saying I can't get along with women, because that's not true. I will, however, say that I don't feel as though I can relate to most women. Sometimes I think my X's and Y's got confused because I am much more male-brained than I am female brained. I've always been considered "one of the guys" and I'm perfectly fine with that. Girl things intimidate me. Bridal showers, baby showers, "girl's night".... it's not really my cup of tea.

With all these issues the only thought I'm having is...

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