December 28, 2016


I quit.

Ok, that's a little dramatic. Here's the thing - this was THE most stressful move I have ever had. My packing was on point but everything after that was a major pain in the ass.

First of all, December started off pretty mild. The week I'm set to start moving it decided to drop into the low 20s. The actual day I was going to move the bulk of my stuff - random snow storm. Mind you, this didn't deter me. It just kept me to one trip instead of multiples. Every night after I got home I loaded my car to the brim and took as much stuff over as possible. Moving in 20 degree weather, in the dark is. not. fun. 

From there on it was just a hassle. Not one person offered to help me in any capacity {for the record, to my IRL blog friends - this is NOT geared towards you in any way}. The only exception was my friend S and her husband who helped me paint the living room one night. So grateful for that because I never would have finished it on my own.

The bedroom still needed painting and there were still about 3 car loads worth of stuff to move. 

Then I needed to figure out how I was going to move the big stuff - bed, couch, dressers... This was probably the most stressful part. I was initially going to hire someone from a Craigslist ad. Quick, cheap labor, right? Then I second guessed it and decided to try Thumbtack to see if I could find a reputable company... just in case anything happened. Some of the quotes were pricey {$105/hr with a minimum of 3 hours and 1 hour of travel} so I decided to say F it and go with the Craigslist people. Then they told me they're cash only {of course they are} and I didn't feel good about that so I went back to Thumbtack and secured a company 24 hours before I wanted to move.

I was given a "9-11" window the day they were set to come and then at 10:24 get a text saying they were running late due to a truck issue and would be there at 11-12 at the latest. They showed up at 11:45. I'm sure you can imagine my rage.

Rant over. In any event, I'm fully moved in now. I was worried my dressers wouldn't fit and the movers carried them in like a breeze. Ironically, it was my couch that was a tight fit. A couple inches bigger and it wouldn't have made it.

At the current rate I'm going I anticipate living out of boxes for the next 6 months because at this point, I have no interest in putting anything away. Energy level: zero

Although, at some point I expect my Type A tendencies to take over and to be up until the wee hours one Friday night getting it all done. Balance? 

December 27, 2016

Favorite Reads of 2016

For me, 2016 was a good year for books. I read a lot, although I was shy of reaching my goal. If we're not friends on Goodreads, look me up! I love to see what everyone is reading or what they thought about books I also read. 

Earlier this month Goodreads gave me a fun little synopsis of the books I'd read. 

I love that Alyssa's book made the list. And The Alchemist? By far one of my favorites. Speaking of favorites, here's a look at the books I enjoyed most this year.

Leaving Time | Jodi Piccoult

I still love this book. It had everything I love in a good story. There was suspense, mystery, love, sadness, elephants, a little spirituality.... this was a perfect starter Picoult book for me.

The Alchemist | Paulo Coelho

Anyone who has read or listened to this knows how great it is. I listened to it driving home from Mom's one weekend and although it resonated with me, I want a paper version so I can annotate and highlight - it was that good.

Bossypants | Tina Fey

This book was a favorite because it was real... and funny. Unlike Yes, Please this book actually had me laughing and agreeing with the author from start to finish. I'm a bit picky on comedienne books because I feel like a lot of the humor and relatability gets lost in the delivery (i.e book) but Tina's sense of humor shines through.

June | Miranda Beverly-Whittemore

I fell for this book as soon as I started reading it. I received it from Blogging for Books and the cover and synopsis alone were enough to pull me in. I'm so glad I picked it because it was a perfect read.

Furiously Happy | Jenny Lawson

Jenny's books slayed. I preferred this to Let's Pretend This Never Happened but both were enjoyable. The Bloggess isn't a daily or even weekly read of mine but her books.... hysterical, relatable gold.

Deliver Her | Patricia Perry Donovan

I chose this from Amazon firsts (or whatever its called) and absolutely loved it. The book was a sort of coming of age for both mother and daughter tied together by the sense of family and so much they thought they knew. It truly moved me and I look forward to reading more from this author.

The Things We Wish Were True | Marybeth Mayhew Whalen

This was another Amazon choice and I really enjoyed it. The book was mildly predictable but that doesn't stop me from enjoying something. I liked the sense of community and shared secrets that everyone had a part in, whether they knew it or not.

December 21, 2016

Winter is Coming

Back in June there was this link up that I missed where we all laid out our seasonal goals. Of course I wasn't going to let a little lateness deter me so I posted mine eventually. Monthly goals are too easily forgotten. I make them and almost immediately forget what they were. It's a viscous cycle. But seasonal goals, quarterly if you will, those I can get behind.

For summer/fall, I kept it light and simple:

+ Purchase a fire proof safe - I held off on buying one of these all season long as I was hoping to get a good deal around Black Friday.... and I did! 

+ Pay off NJ tax lien - This isn't done just yet but I plan to do it before year end. 

+ Hit the beach at least 5x - I exceeded this with flying colors. I was down June 9th, July 9th, July 16th, and the entire last week of July. WIN.

+ Lose 5 pounds - better luck next time?

As much as I love summer, I do truly enjoy winter. There's something about the blanket of snow that just makes me happy. And if we're getting a blizzard? Even better. Personally, I've always been a fan of shoveling snow so the inches don't make one bit of difference to me. Here's what I'll be tackling this season:

+ Winterize Javi.  I haven't had a car in almost 2 years so I plan to do everything I can to make his first winter a good one. That means Ice-X {check}, a good ice scraper, and checking my emergency kit.

+ Get back into a fitness routine -  Are you even surprised to see this on here? Given my new health problem this is more pressing than ever. The motivation isn't there at all so it's time to call on my discipline {also hibernating} to make the changes I want to see. 

+ Pay off 2 credit cards and 1 loan. Now that I'm in a better financial position I want to start throwing money at my credit cards and loans. I always knock out the smaller ones first to build momentum. Plus, it's nice to be able to cross something off the list. 

+ Go out more. I'm leaving this one vague so it can be open to whatever comes my way. Whether that means learning to ice skate, going for a winter stroll, doing some winter-themed activity, or just hitting the pub with friends, I want to be more open to living life outside of my living room. 

Again, I'm keeping it simple. I see no reason to add self-imposed stress. Any plans you have for the winter season?

December 16, 2016

Fixed Up

Every once in a while, I'd say roughly 6 times a year, I receive a Stitch Fix box. I don't remember when or how I first stumbled upon this clothing service but I've been a semi-regular ever since. The stylist I had was amazing. Everything she picked was perfect. I think she left the company because now I have a new stylist. She's doing okay, but I think she's still learning my style. Here's a look at what she sent for November.

Edyson Hampton Corduroy Skinny Jeans

I tried these on last because I knew I'd love them, and I was hoping they'd fit. Fortunately, they did, and I love them and they now live in my closet. This picture is terrible but here's what they look like.

Brixon Ivy Mange Mixed Media Crochet Back Knit Top

The front of this was awesome, and it fit perfectly. The back however... hated it. I'm not a fan of mixed media like this when it comes to clothing. I just thought it looked "old".

Renee C Sirius Split Back Top

I really love the plaid of this one. It's cut a bit shorter than I prefer my shirts though so although I may regret it, it went back.

Pixley Martina Slub Knit Open Cardigan

I really liked this cardigan. It fit nice and I liked the built-in pockets. The price ($48) just wasn't worth it. I know I can find something similar for half the cost. It's hard to see since it's all black but you get the idea.

Collective Concepts Elison Lace Back Detail Halter Blouse

I'll be honest, I hated this top. For one, I'd have to lose an entire cup size for it to fit me properly, and two, I never wear stuff like this.

I'd say my stylist did a decent job. I wanted 3 out of the 5 pieces, but because I know how I like my clothes to feel, I only kept the jeans. As I've been wanting a nice pair of cords for a while, I consider this a win!

December 14, 2016

Trading Spaces: Part 1

Most people don't like the moving process. They don't want to put their lives into boxes, load them into a truck, move them to an empty space, and then take everything out and set it up. However, there's this weird thing that tends to happen when you've moved around a lot... you get good at it. You enjoy it.
And that's exactly where I find myself. Back in 2014 I posted about my moving process and how I make it super easy and stress free. I'm telling you, it's the only way to do it. This time around it's been even easier because I plan to replace things and really coordinate my space so that it's 100% me.

I've wanted a gray bedroom for years. Now I'm finally making it happen. Here's a look at a little idea of what I'm going for.

I really want to make this space a sort of sanctuary. The light gray walls will be calming and are neutral enough that when I want to change up the accent colors, it will flow nicely. I'm going with purple accents to start because I think royal purple and lavender look gorgeous against gray. That is the exact bed frame I have so I think that will play into the look I'm going for. I really like the vintage letter lights and will pick up a metal one from Hobby Lobby. It may not make it into the bedroom, {maybe the office?} but I want one.


As for the living room, I'm envisioning something more homey, cozy, and masculine. I'm a very no frills kind of girl and since I know I'm going more feminine in the bedroom I want this space to balance it out and be welcoming to company.

I plan to keep the walls a warm, neutral color. I really like the color below as it kind of reminds me of buttercream. It will also lead into the kitchen nicely. I have a chocolate brown couch {similar in color to the one here} and a wood and glass coffee table. I may replace this for something with storage but I haven't found the right piece yet. Ideally, the TV will be wall mounted with a media table below. Due to the amount of rooms branching off the living room, it appears smaller than it actually is so I want to create the opposite effect. I plan to do a gallery wall above the couch using fun quotes and images that can easily be swapped out as my taste, mood, or the seasons change. The living room is hard wood so a complimentary rug will get put down to add to the look.


As for the rest of the house, the bathroom is a dark pink. I'm not a fan but I plan to pair it with navy to make the best of it. The kitchen is fairly large and is a light yellow (I think) with yellow tile with dark brown trim. Eventually I plan to paint the kitchen yellow and refresh the cabinets.

The office isn't even close to being ready, and the other room will be transformed into a walk in closet. The enclosed porch will be used for seasonal storage and will also be the cats' room.

As for the rest of the details, and reveals, they'll come in due time. For now, tonight I get my keys!!

December 08, 2016

Catching Up

Lately I feel as though the only writing I do in this space is to play catch up. My winter laziness has set in hardcore and I have no desire to do anything once I get home from work. You guys, winter is rough. 

After several back and forth messages with AlyssaJenn, and Dani it became very clear to me that I'm in a funk. And not just a blogging one. Things that used to make me happy - the gym, yoga, meditating, planning... it's all feels like a chore at this point. 

And the irony of it all is that life is going amazingly well right now. I have a job I truly enjoy. I will be moving into a new apartment in a few weeks that makes me super excited and happy. I'm dating a guy I really like who makes me smile. I've visited friends I haven't seen in years and had amazing weekends with them. Life. Is. Good. 

Alyssa's post this week about a simpler 2016 really got me thinking. And the only logical conclusion I kept coming to is I'm burnt out. The constant vibrating from social media notifications. The non-stop stream of info. The never-ending to-do lists.... I it's time to scale it back. 

Here's what I've been up to lately: 

Deleting| I deleted the Facebook app from my phone on Tuesday. I only opened it once through the browser after that. I also deleted a bunch of apps from my phone. Games I never play, games I keep for my niece, shopping apps that I never use (looking at you Cartwheel). I tossed all but 5 magazines that I've been hoarding. I intended to read/skim them all, except I never do and they just sit there. Fashion advice from August is pretty useless. I also tossed numerous bottles of nail polish. I only get gel manicures and there's no reason for me to keep them.

Donating| Since I'm in the midst of packing my stuff I've been trying to purge here as it always makes me feel good. Making physical space also creates mental and emotional space. 

Listening| I've actually been listening to a lot of country lately. Actually, I've been listening to a lot of everything. Anything feel good, mellow, and just good vibe. And then I had a Slipknot day. it's all about balance. 

Watching| Sons of Anarchy. I used to watch this when it was on but quit mid-series. A friend gt me back in and I've been watching like an addict every day.

Reading| I think I burned myself out reading. I have no desire to pick up or even listen to a book right now. Perhaps it's all the Netflix binging... I'll start reading eventually. 

Seeing| A guy. And I like it.

Concerned| I scheduled an appointment with a nutritionist for January. At the beginning of November my doctor informed me that my A1c levels were higher than normal. For us lay people, it means my blood sugar was higher than it should be... to the point where I'm considered pre-diabetic. I'm only 3 points over but with a history of diabetes on my mother's side, being slightly overweight, and my insatiable love for carbs, it's not something I'm willing to sleep on. 

December 06, 2016

The 411: November

October was such an awesome month that part of me felt that November wouldn't be able to keep pace. Turns out, I was wrong.

I kicked off the beginning of the month with an amazing new job and I'm still loving it a month later (always a good sign!).

I also went on a date. O_o  If you know me IRL, then you know this is a HUGE deal. It was simple and casual which I'm all for. We went for sushi (a first for me) and surprisingly, I enjoyed it. It's not something I'll crave, but I didn't die. {Writer's note: I had sushi 4 days after this, still a fan}

The next weekend I went home for a friend's surprise 40th birthday party. He was less surprised than we all hoped for but I got to spend the day with my BFF and that's always a nice thing.

After that it was a smooth week (hooray!) and then I went with my planner bestie the the NYC Planner Meet. I talked about this after it happened, but let's relive it anyway! Also, if you're a planner in the NYC area, get in this group!

The following weekend I headed back home to stuff my face and do some {official} holiday shopping. 

Last Monday was my birthday and even though I don't really "celebrate" in any way, it was still a good day. I met up with friends for a little post-work drinking. 

And just like that,

November 30, 2016

Inked & Awesome

If you're looking for me here today you won't find me. 

I'm visiting Danielle at Underland to Wonderland.

Hop into the rabbit hole and come talk with me about all things inked & awesome!

November 23, 2016

Be Thankful for Your Choices

A few months ago Alyssa posted about the choices she once thought were what she wanted. Of course, that prompted me to do the same. There’s no denying my life could or would have been in a million different places if I had made the other choice at the time.

Considering joining the Navy: This wasn't something that I was "full on" serious about, but it was on my radar. So much so that I met with a recruiter, had him come to the house and talk to my mom, and even went over the program options for what I'd like to do. Looking back, I know this would have been a major accomplishment in life, but I'm glad I didn't go. There are some things I would have missed that I'd have never forgiven myself for. 

Senior year and considering college: I was never a “serious” student. I got decent grades. By decent I mean I was never held back and only failed once class, ever. But when it came time for applications I sold myself short. I only applied to the community college. The plan was to go for 2 years and then transfer to BU. Solid plan but why didn’t I apply anywhere else?! I probably could have got into a 4-year state school without a problem.

Choosing a major my freshman year of college: I’m not quite sure what I was thinking when we had to declare our major but I selected Spanish. Perhaps it was because it was my best subject in high school. Perhaps I really wanted to go to Pamplona to run with the bills (side note: still do!) What I can tell you though, is that a semester of college level Spanish with an Argentinian professor was enough to make me change my mind muy rapido.

Choosing my next major: I used a little more thought here and this is something I still wish I had perused. When I decided Spanish wasn’t for me, I went to my real interest – psychology. I fell in love with my general psych class in high school and I wish this had been my first choice… and that I had followed through with it.

Picking up and moving to NJ after 1 weekend: To date this is the most impulsive, unplanned, spontaneous thing I’ve ever done – and I still don’t regret it.

Working in law: I completely fell into this career path. I didn't seek it out and I never would have actively considered it for myself. And yet, I've been going strong since 2005. Who knows where I'd be if I didn't take that chance.

Leaving that relationship: When it comes to abusive relationships, I always vowed never to be that girl. "Not me", I'd say. And to a degree it's true. But 'abuse' is a vague term. Being with someone who tries to monopolize your time and needs to know where you are, etc. at all times - that's also abuse. 

Going HAM: If you asked me to relive my 26th year of life now, I'm not certain I could. I was working full-time 9-5, going to school full-time, and working part-time, all while going out every single weekend. It was one of the best years of my life so far. 

Saying no: My best friend has been trying to date me since day 1. And since Day 1, I always said no. I won't go into the reason but one of them was because I wasn't willing to risk our friendship should things not work out. In hindsight, there would have been nothing to worry about. We probably would be married today. I'm still happy with the choice I made. 

Being alone: From 2010-2011 I had some of the most fun in my life. I was single, I lived alone, and I was truly happy. If there's one thing it taught me, it's that every woman should live alone at least once in her life. I can't wait to get back to this soon!

My point is, I'm THANKFUL for all of these choices I had. I know that there can be a right and wrong choice to make, but is there really? If choice A makes you miserable, but you learn valuable lessons, was it wrong? If choice B makes you happy but others don't approve, is it wrong? This life we get is an amazing thing. You have to celebrate the good times, and find the silver lining in unfortunate situations.

November 21, 2016


What a weekend!!!

I'm not one to recap my weekend because, ugh, but this weekend was fabulous. 

For starters, I met a girlfriend for dinner Friday night at The Cheesecake Factory. It had been quite some time since I was last there (for brunch) and I remember being disappointed. This time was redeeming because dinner was delicious!

Saturday my planner bestie and I went to our first ever planner event. The NYC Planner Addicts and Sugary Gal Shop hosted a planner meetup in Brooklyn with special guest Amanda Zampelli from MAMBI. My phone died halfway through but here's a look at the photos I did manage to get.

Photo with my favorite sticker shop ever: Jamison Reid Designs

Table 5's Planner Stack!

Swag bag contents!

It was such an awesome event and I can't wait to go to the holiday dinner next month. The only downfall is that all the events always take place in the city, but it's a good time and I don't mind making the drive every now and then.

After getting home I played with my planners and then about an hour later, passed out. It was a very long, very fun day.

Sunday I had plans to look at a few apartments. I have been very mum on this but for those of you that know me IRL (or care) K and I split up back in May. We've been doing the civil cohabitation thing since then (we have the luxury of separate living/sleeping space) but it's time to move forward.

The first apartment I went to was in the same complex I saw in the early summer and although it wasn't bad, I didn't love it. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I wasn't able to get into contact with the super to view this unit so I moved on the the second place.

I was kind of worried that I'd fall in love with this place. Mainly because it was showing my commute would increase by 30 minutes. I was right, I loved the model. Parking, cats would be okay, they'd waive the pet deposit, the neighborhood was pretty... the only downfall is that it's far from everything I know. None of my friends live in the area and I'd basically have to find all knew everything - nail salon, dry cleaner, bars, etc. Plus, it's more than my price limit. It would be doable, but it's more than I want to spend on rent. There is a unit that's in my desired budget that is available mid-February (which works perfectly) but I'd need to get my deposit in relatively soon if I'm going to make that choice.

I have a few units I'm seeing tonight, one of which I'm super excited about seeing. Truth be told, I'm hoping I love this one because it's close to where I am currently, it has parking, extra space, the cats would be good, and there's a backyard that I have full access to. Fingers crossed for me!

It's been a busy few days but things are soo good. Now to count down until Wednesday when I head home to stuff my face!

November 16, 2016

Come in Peace

I mention this time and time again in this space. Spirituality is my jam. 2 years ago I decided to reconnect with myself in a big way. Since then I’ve had so many humbling, joyful moments. Some people seek out inner peace, and although I think we all do, I also don’t think it’s something we ever fully obtain. Peace comes and goes like the tide. That’s life – ebb and flow. But those moments of peace? Those are all that matter.

  • Feeling the warm rays of the sun on my skin
  • Smelling the salty air as I listen to the waves crash
  • Feeling the cool water lap at my feet as I stand on the blue horizon
  • Speeding through the air, above the clouds
  • Seeing my niece smile and hearing her laugh. Further, listening to her put full conversations together without skipping a beat (her 4 year old intelligence leaves me in awe sometimes)
  • Completing the workout you almost bailed on
  • Pushing through that hard set when really, all you want to do is tap out. 
  • Speeding down the tarmac as we're about to take off
  • Visiting new places
  • Seeing a rainbow after a rain shower
  • Jumping into a pool or the ocean on a hot summer day
  • Taking that first bite out of a delicious slice of pizza
  • My cats interrupting me because they want to be pet
  • Trying on clothes and having them fit perfectly
  • Being told you did a "good job"
  • Making someone else smile
  • Helping someone, for no reason other than wanting to
  • The first blanket of snow when it's still clean and white and it muffles all the sound

November 14, 2016

Working Girl

A few weeks ago I was talking to someone about work and it led me to thinking about the various jobs I’ve had. Not just my professional ones, but all of them. Of course this led to blog fodder and here we are. Let’s walk through my work history.

All throughout high school I never worked (unless you count the 2 weeks when I delivered papers at 5am for my neighbor). This wasn’t because I didn’t have  to work, or because I didn’t want to work – I used to fantasize about where I’d work and how awesome it would be. No, it was because my “job” was to babysit my younger siblings every day. We’ll skip over the resentment, anger, and general asshatery of this time. The only things I got from this job were spite and a deep seeded desire to not have kids.

I obtained my first real job the summer before college. I worked as a cashier at a supply store. You guys, I was beyond ecstatic to work here. For one, I didn’t have to be home. That in itself was like a paycheck. Two, someone was giving me money to do things. Three, it was actually kind of fun. I would walk the Carhardt aisle sniffing that farm scent and wondering if it would be lame if I bought a women’s one for myself, you know, because they’re warm AF.

Once I was in college it stopped working out. Not because I didn’t have the time, but because my manager kept scheduling me on days I told him I couldn’t work. Example: On some day that ends in Y I told him I was unable to work on another day that ends in Y because that night was a final exam for class. When I ran home during a 2 hour break my mom questioned me on why they had been calling asking where I was. Umm, school?  Turns out, my manager had still scheduled me even though I told him I couldn’t work that day. I went in the following week to pick up my paycheck, checked the schedule for the next week, saw I wasn’t on it, and went about my business. I never called them, they never called me. 

From there it was on to the wonderful world of waiting tables. I don’t even remember how I got the job. I had never held a tray in my life. This job intimidated the shit out of me. Add to that I started maybe 2-3 weeks before Lent and I was scared. Turns out, I’m a natural server. I’m quick, efficient, and I thrive in the face-paced environment. Plus, my boss was amazing. Any man that will quote First Wive’s Club to me is okay in my book. On the flip side, coming home smelling like fish and grease wasn’t fun. The restaurant owners closed and sold so I moved onto a another restaurant owned by a family friend. Ironically enough, my dad had worked there years prior. I loathed working here. Like, absolutely hated it. The coworkers were fun. The dishwasher was creepy as he would hit on me every chance he got, but my boss, she was on a power trip of epic proportions.

I finally had enough and went to work at the call center in town. Hi, I’m now that annoying person that calls you at dinner hour to politely ask you to come current on your MCI phone bill, thanks. Truth is, for as lame and boring as this job was, it was an absolute blast. See, this was basically the highest paying job in town for college students. I think minimum wage was $5.15 then… they were paying $8/hr. Then factor in that I worked with about 8 of my friends and it was always a good time. AND they gave OT. Like, as much OT as you wanted. 

You guys, this is soooo accurate

In hindsight, I was a dumb, dumb girl. I settled in with the wrong crowd of friends while working here and every night became a party. Go to class, go to work, go home, party, repeat. It was all well and good until one day I decided I just wasn’t into it anymore and I quit. I didn’t have anything new lined up and for whatever reason, I also wasn’t concerned about it. Eventually I entered the world of retail, which I also thrive in.

It was the Aladdin to my Jasmine (a whole new world in case you’re not following). I didn’t worry about spilling food, I didn’t come home smelling like grease, I could essentially window shop all day. I was working in the mall (this made me feel very “grown up and cool”) And the discount?! I think it was here that I truly became a bargain shopper.

Enter some guy who is now no longer part of my life and I did the single most brazen, scary, fearless thing I have ever done: I went to NJ for a weekend to visit, came home with a new job, and gave notice. 


In hind sight, I think I’d do it all over again. I mean, I was 20, why the hell not. But that reads correct. I went to NJ to visit a guy and came home with a new job. Obviously I moved two weeks later and entered the cult of designer shoes. It was by far the most ‘I don’t fit in here’ job I’ve ever had. I felt like I was playing dress up every day. I realized very quickly that commission based sales were not for me. I hated it and asked to be moved to a cashier position. They were a bit unsure but the things was, I was good. So good that my department let go of two of the four cashiers it had and I replaced them. The thing about retail? It’s soul sucking. You lose all concept of time, days, and worst of all – your weekend. It was time to say good bye. 

I stepped in it when I took my next job. I started working at a legal secretary for someone I knew. I don’t even have words for this job. It’s what has started my professional career. It’s what spurred me into finally going back – and finishing – school. Yet it also caused me years of financial headaches. I’ve blogged about it a long time ago so I’m not going to get into it again but the short of it is, I appreciate my time here, but dear God I’m glad I moved on.

It was at this point that every childhood fascination came true. Not because I was doing all the things I dreamed of, but one single desire was manifested in its own way – I was working in New York City. I always envisioned living in the city in some fabulous loft apartment with some pseudo-important job. Hey, ½ the dream isn’t bad – I’ll take it!

NYC was my playground for 3 fast years. I’m not sure where the time went but I started to feel stuck and felt it was time to go home (NJ) and take away some of the stress I dealt with daily (I’m looking at you NJT). I went back to NJ for a spell but ultimately went back to the city. I love the closeness of boutique firms, but let’s be honest, the NYC firms make it rain.

And here we are. Still working in NYC. Still be irritated by NJT and tourists. I have a myriad of job experience under my belt, and even more life experience beyond that.

November 11, 2016

The F Word

This is a post I drafted sometimes in July. And I've been sitting on it ever since. Now, more than ever it needs to be published.

It’s one of those words that’s been around for a long time. It’s the one people have trouble defining because it means different things to different people. It’s one I really didn’t have any use for… until I started using it.

When I was in high school, circa partying like it was 1999 (cuz it was), I occasionally would hear the F word get thrown around. No one liked it. No one wanted to hear it. It was often met with attitude or a rolling of the eyes. Going with the flow and not really understanding I too dismissed the word. Not in my vocabulary, F word!

And in recent years, especially now, it’s become a big deal again. I hear it on the street, I read it in magazines, I hear it conversations with friends. And it is very much in my vocabulary.

For the longest time it was synonymous with man-bashing or man-hate. Women who wanted to “be” the man. It was perceived with an ‘I can do it myself’ attitude. Feminism had a bad rap.

Did you read that definition? Read it again… and again. “advocating...rights of women equal to those of men”.

As I’ve increased my age, and knowledge, it’s become a word that not only do I understand, truly understand, it’s also one I will fight for. You want to call me a feminist? Please do!

Feminism isn’t being one of the boys. It’s being the SAME as the boys. It means our pay is the same. It means the laws are the same. It means that for once in this country, one is not better, or more valued, or more important, or more worthy, than the other.

To quote one badass woman's opinion on this subject...

"Feminism... I think the simplest explanation, and one that captures the idea, is a song that Marlo Thomas sang, 'Free to be You and Me.' Free to be, if you were a girl—doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. Anything you want to be. And if you’re a boy, and you like teaching, you like nursing, you would like to have a doll, that’s OK too. That notion that we should each be free to develop our own talents, whatever they may be, and not be held back by artificial barriers—man-made barriers, certainly not heaven sent." - RBG 
So, yes. I consider myself a feminist. And although some may roll their eyes, or refuse to listen, I will wear this badge of honor proudly because not only do I deserve it, but future generations deserve it as well.