November 23, 2016

Be Thankful for Your Choices

A few months ago Alyssa posted about the choices she once thought were what she wanted. Of course, that prompted me to do the same. There’s no denying my life could or would have been in a million different places if I had made the other choice at the time.

Considering joining the Navy: This wasn't something that I was "full on" serious about, but it was on my radar. So much so that I met with a recruiter, had him come to the house and talk to my mom, and even went over the program options for what I'd like to do. Looking back, I know this would have been a major accomplishment in life, but I'm glad I didn't go. There are some things I would have missed that I'd have never forgiven myself for. 

Senior year and considering college: I was never a “serious” student. I got decent grades. By decent I mean I was never held back and only failed once class, ever. But when it came time for applications I sold myself short. I only applied to the community college. The plan was to go for 2 years and then transfer to BU. Solid plan but why didn’t I apply anywhere else?! I probably could have got into a 4-year state school without a problem.

Choosing a major my freshman year of college: I’m not quite sure what I was thinking when we had to declare our major but I selected Spanish. Perhaps it was because it was my best subject in high school. Perhaps I really wanted to go to Pamplona to run with the bills (side note: still do!) What I can tell you though, is that a semester of college level Spanish with an Argentinian professor was enough to make me change my mind muy rapido.

Choosing my next major: I used a little more thought here and this is something I still wish I had perused. When I decided Spanish wasn’t for me, I went to my real interest – psychology. I fell in love with my general psych class in high school and I wish this had been my first choice… and that I had followed through with it.

Picking up and moving to NJ after 1 weekend: To date this is the most impulsive, unplanned, spontaneous thing I’ve ever done – and I still don’t regret it.

Working in law: I completely fell into this career path. I didn't seek it out and I never would have actively considered it for myself. And yet, I've been going strong since 2005. Who knows where I'd be if I didn't take that chance.

Leaving that relationship: When it comes to abusive relationships, I always vowed never to be that girl. "Not me", I'd say. And to a degree it's true. But 'abuse' is a vague term. Being with someone who tries to monopolize your time and needs to know where you are, etc. at all times - that's also abuse. 

Going HAM: If you asked me to relive my 26th year of life now, I'm not certain I could. I was working full-time 9-5, going to school full-time, and working part-time, all while going out every single weekend. It was one of the best years of my life so far. 

Saying no: My best friend has been trying to date me since day 1. And since Day 1, I always said no. I won't go into the reason but one of them was because I wasn't willing to risk our friendship should things not work out. In hindsight, there would have been nothing to worry about. We probably would be married today. I'm still happy with the choice I made. 

Being alone: From 2010-2011 I had some of the most fun in my life. I was single, I lived alone, and I was truly happy. If there's one thing it taught me, it's that every woman should live alone at least once in her life. I can't wait to get back to this soon!

My point is, I'm THANKFUL for all of these choices I had. I know that there can be a right and wrong choice to make, but is there really? If choice A makes you miserable, but you learn valuable lessons, was it wrong? If choice B makes you happy but others don't approve, is it wrong? This life we get is an amazing thing. You have to celebrate the good times, and find the silver lining in unfortunate situations.


  1. I adore this spin of thankfulness. There is no doubt that I've made decisions along the way that completely altered the course of my life. And while I might not ever be able to say for sure if they're for the better or the worse I can say for sure that I don't have any real regrets. And there are absolutely decisions that I'm so thankful I made looking back!

  2. After my brother joined the Navy when he was 18, there was a weird faction of my family who (I guess believing I had no plans or intentions or thoughts or ideas of my own, maybe?) who thought that I'd follow the same path. I have been able to think about that for no more than 10 seconds at a time before realizing it is SO not something I want to or should do—so good for you for even legitimately considering it. I couldn't hack it.

    I have so many thoughts about college. There are so many ways, looking back, that I wish my experience were different, but I would be missing so much if my plans unfolded as I originally wanted them to. Still, I wish I knew then what I know now and I would have made some slightly different, better decisions about my education.

    As lonely as it felt sometimes over the (many, many) years I had been fully alone before meeting David, I wouldn't give any of it back. I did so much soul-searching and self-progression during that time. I became so many good things and let go of so many bad things, and learned how to be self-sufficient and truly happy with myself. Not everyone has that opportunity, and yet it's one of the things I'm most grateful for. Cheers to that!

  3. I love this so much. I was just talking to someone the other day about my wanting to join the Air Force. It never happened & I still go back & forth on that decision. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if I had done it that's for sure.