I sit here with a million thoughts running through my head.
I woke up at 4 AM, checked my phone, read a few articles, and then started to cry. I then took to Twitter and my tears turned to an ugly cry.
I realize that perhaps today, while fully in my feelings, is not the best time to write, it's the only way I can process this. Writing has always been my go to. I'm not going to sit here and say that America failed me, though, in my opinion, it did. I'm not going to pretend this wasn't a reality, because it was. And I'm certainly not going to pretend I'm not scared. For myself, my friends, and perfect strangers.
America has problems. We all know/knew this. I guess I just gave us the benefit of the doubt. And that was my error. We are a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic country and I'm terrified for the future.
I'm terrified at the thought of Rove v. Wade (1977) being overturned.
I'm terrified about someone with such a narcissistic personality is now the face of this country.
I'm terrified someone who verbally, emotionally, and physically assaults others is now in charge of this nation.
I'm terrified that someone who can be riled up by a 140-character message and responds with hate is who this country thought was a better choice.
I'm terrified someone who makes money by exploiting small businesses is in charge of foreign policy.
I truly feel numb. And yet it's something akin to loss. True, heart-breaking, world-flipping loss. Watching the results come in last night gave me nothing other than a sickening feeling. This was happening. For the record, it wasn't about Hilary for me. There are no words for how proud I am that a woman was even on the ballot, but if it had been Mickey Mouse running against Trump, I would have voted for the Mouse.
What's more is that when I was seen sitting at my laptop just now and was asked why I'm crying about him being president. That right there? That makes me cry harder. It doesn't make me feel less because I am NOT less. It just,,, hurts.
For me, this means it's time to buckle down. It's time to pay attention to the news and politics more than ever before. We need to stand and band together to be stronger than our oppressors.