February 10, 2017

Alt-Life: That Time I Ended Up at a Swingers Party

I'm just going to say it - sometimes weird things happen to me. And I'm ok with it. This particular "thing" I went along with simply because I wanted to write about it.

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A few weeks ago you wanted a drink. Sure, you had beer at home, but you also wanted to go out. A Yelp acquaintance was supposed to meet you but, as predicted, he bailed. No bother. You're a big girl and you're trying to step out of your comfort zone more. So you head off to the bar... alone. 

You walk in and find a seat at center bar. It's a dimly lit place that immediately transports you back in time. From the faux water stained ceilings to the distressed mirror bar back to the "crumbling" exposed brick you feel like you're in another time period, prohibition perhaps. 

You browse the menu looking for a new porter or stout that you haven't yet tried as their menu rotates regularly. You order your drink and start a tab. it's time to settle in and embrace the discomfort. 

After a few beers and some bĆ©chamel mac n' cheese it's time to head home. Suddenly, the couple to your left starts making small talk and you find yourself intertwined in casual conversation. You decide to have another. 

Now, you're a bright girl. You're a casual observer. You listen, you notice. Experience is telling you what's happening and part of you is equally shocked, as it's never came up, and curious. If you're anything like me, you love a good train wreck. 

The couple next to you is talking among themselves but you can hear everything. You sip your beer to keep from outright laughing at this moment. They turn to you and in that backwards roundabout way ask if you'd be interested in going to this party that they're heading to. You immediately know what's happening and you continue to go along with it because blog fodder.

You leave the bar, hop in your car and follow the couple to a close by Holiday Inn. {I know it sounds sketchy as hell but it's a public place and I was fine.} You immediately call your best friend because he's the only person who would understand what's happening, encourage it, and be upset he isn't right next to you. You agree to fill him in on your way home. You proceed to the hotel bar and what do you find?

A bunch of middle aged people drinking and dancing. 

Your BFF and you have joked around about attending a swingers event for YEARS and now you're actually at one and it is the most NORMAL thing ever. Not that it would be abnormal, but if you had no idea where you were, you'd never know.

*   *   *

I'd love to say something interesting happened {I think?} but it didn't. I went, made small talk with a couple people, one of who was a year my junior and also went to MSU, and then I drove home. I think the part that kept me in internal hysterics was when I'd get asked how I got into the "lifestyle". Oh sir... you're old enough to be my creepy uncle. Trust me, I'm into a lot of lifestyles but this is not one of them. 

It was purely amusing to me. I have absolutely zero judgments about this sort of thing so for me, it really was just a bunch of middle aged people drinking and dancing. It's like the time I was in Tybee, GA and stayed out in the water hoping to get stung by a jellyfish. I had never been stung and wanted to know what it was like... so I stayed until it happened. I wouldn't do it again but I have the experience. 


  1. LOL that happened to me once. I was at a "house party" where my friend and I didn't really know anyone except the person who invited us and at some point, they were going around with a bowl asking for everyone's car keys. I thought they were trying to steal my car so I declined and my friend leaned over to me and whispered "wtf, they're going to ask you for your car and take it with you knowing? are they stupid??". Ater much protesting, the host told the person who invited us to leave since we weren't "playing by the rules". When we eventually found out, we were so shocked! We laugh about it now.

  2. LOL that is hilarious!! That has never happened to me and now seeing Kathy say that happened to her too, I feel totally left out.

  3. Seriously, weird shit finds you lol. At least you knew what you were getting in to, and still did it "for the blog" haha. However, I have also never been stung by a jellyfish (knock on wood) and wouldn't stay out there hoping to get stung either!

  4. And yet you still managed to make it to yoga class the next morning! ;)

  5. Too funny. Only you. But I for live thanking chocolates. "It's that kind of party". HahahahašŸ¤£

  6. Too funny. Only you. But I do love me some dancing chocolate. "It's that kind of party". HahahahašŸ¤£