February 13, 2017

Will I B Mine?

Ever since I can remember I've disliked Valentine's Day. It's not because I never had a valentine or had bad experiences, I just think the day is ridiculously unfair.

To start, we put all this pressure on our significant other to show the most perfect outward display of affection - buy chocolates and flowers; take us to dinner; buy us jewelry.... for what? Shouldn't the man or woman in your life be doing these things on the regular? And then when the other person fails to meet your unreasonable expectations you get mad and snappy for no reason. Personally, my ideal valentine would suggest we stay home on the couch, with pizza and beer. I know... different strokes for different folks.

However, I do have one suggestion for you. Something that might make this and future V-days a lot more fun.

One of my favorite quotes is from Sex and the City when Carries says "don't forget to fall in love with yourself first." I don't care what anyone says, if you can't love you, no one else will either. Highs, lows, perfections, and flaws. You need to accept it all. I spent a good portion of 2015 focusing on self care and I am nothing but happier for it. I have pretty high self esteem to begin with but there were parts of myself I needed to forgive, learn to love, and accept completely. It caused a lot of tears and even more a-ha moments.  

I know it's the "in" thing to be mindful and present but if you've participated in that in ANY way, you know how freeing it is. I observe. I see. I notice. 

I think and feel that people as a whole put way too much importance on outside factors to gauge their internal feelings. We care too much what others think; how others will feel or react to our decisions. What about how you feel? What about what you think? 

I challenge you to write yourself a love letter. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk about a crush. Talk to yourself the way you want someone to talk about you. 

It doesn't matter if you're married for 5 years or 50, the relationship you have with yourself is the one that matters most. Be good to yourself. Treat yo'self. Take yourself to dinner and a movie. Buy yourself flowers just because. Wear the good underwear. Dress up. Impress yourself. Love you. 


  1. i have never celebrated valentines day. my ex used to make a big deal about it but i'd have to tell him to chill and stop wasting his money on the ridiculously expensive flowers etc!

  2. I think you should only have good underwear :) I love Valentine's Day, and any holiday, really, but I also completely agree that you need to love yourself first.

  3. aw i love this. i agree, you need to love yourself first. i don't celebrate valentines day, never have because it's too close to my birthday. love that rob liano quote.

  4. I love this post so much! I feel the same about Vday for the same reasons.

  5. I'm not a big Valentine's Day person, but I do love to celebrate love. Not just in a couple kind of way, but all the love in the world.

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  7. Amen, amen, amen, amen! So important to love yourself first before anything and anyone else. I also love your writing challenge because I've never ever written a love letter to myself. I feel like it might be hard, not because I don't love myself, but because I have a hard time tooting my own horn, if that makes any sense. But I'm realizing after reading this post that a part of loving yourself is also being your own cheerleader so I'm def gonna add that to my to-do list for this weekend :)