March 02, 2018

Calling Bullshit

For those of you who know me in real life what I'm about to say may come as a shock. For others, it still may be a surprise, but probably not the same kind. 

For the past month I have been willingly participating in a practice that I truly disdain. 

I've been watching The Bachelor. 

Now, if this is something you're into and follow regularly, I'm not shaming you. Instead, I'm shaming everything this show represents to me. I hate shows like this. I watched and gave up RHONJ a looong time ago and you won't catch me KUWTK unless I'm in a sickness induced haze and have no energy to change the channel. Better stated, I don't even know what channel Bravo or E! are on Fios. 

However, one night, after watching "my programs" as my grandmother would say, I didn't change the channel and The Bachelor was on. The whole show is ridiculous to me but I figured I'd watch it this one time to see what people were always talking about. I truly dislike this show but every week I somehow find myself sucked into this alternate reality for  hours. {In full disclosure, it was only about 2 weeks ago that I realized it's on every Monday.}

But here's what I don't get. I'm going to break this down as I see/understand it {because I don't} and if you're a fan, feel free to explain it to me. 

  • You are living in a house with X other women, all vying for the bachelor's interest and affection.
  • You are willingly dating someone who is clearly dating X other women - in your face. 
  • You are group dating this person. Literally, there are group dates
  • Someone is ceremonially sent home when the bachelor decides he doesn't like her.
  • You start falling in love with someone who is still dating numerous people.
  • When the herd has been culled and there are only 3-4 left, "I love you" starts getting tossed around - to multiple people. 
Stop me if I'm off base but this show is the purist example of what's wrong with dating and relationships. Why does this show exist? And don't give me a line about hopeless romantics having faith in finding their true love. How many of these made for television marriages have actually panned out? Someone... anyone? Because that's a statistic I'm not interested in looking up. 

Dating on your own is hard enough. are they seeing other people? are they interested in someone else? do the feel the same about me? is this going anywhere? should I tell him/her how I feel? what if they reject me? and on and on with the internal monologue. The way I see it, these women are actually volunteering to partake in the worst part of dating. Yes, there is an upfront aspect as they know what they're getting into, but isn't that all the more reason to back run away?

I don't know. Perhaps I'm being cynical or perhaps I'm just "not the type", but there is no dollar amount that would get me to live in a house with X other women all trying to nail down the same person. 

To quote a Refinery 29 article I read the other day:

I just want to say that most of the women's issues with their relationship with Arie stem from the actual concept of the show. Kendall says there hasn't been enough time to get to know him, Lauren is insecure about sharing him with other women. Right! Because this is not how normal relationships work, and it drives me insane to watch them grapple with problems that could easily be fixed were they not on a reality TV show.

No. Kidding.

And let's not even get into the fact that none of it is real. Are you telling me that he has the lifestyle to jet set from Tahoe to Paris to Peru whenever he wants? If so, fine, but I doubt it. So on that premise alone, every date or experience they've had is built on falsehoods. This is not what day to day life will be like. You're literally basing a potential lifelong relationship - a/k/a marriage - on a bubble protected honeymoon period. Newsflash: this is not what real life will look like once the TV glamour effect is removed. 

When all is said and done I don't think this season will end any differently than the 21 that came before it. A"winner" will be chosen, there will be a proposal, possibly an actual wedding, and eventually a divorce. The probability of this type of relationship actually working out is slim. As the contestants themselves are saying, there isn't enough time to truly get to know the person. 


  1. i think that program is RIDICULOUS and encourages the tendency for people to develop bad dating habits. i LOATHE that program SO, SO much.

  2. I don't think I've ever made it through a single episode, for all of the reasons you've stated above. But since you already told us everything you dislike about it, which parts are sucking you in every week?